Utopia

It's clean, it's orderly, and it's harmonious -- that's how I'd describe Singapore. Truly the melting pot of Asia, the former British colony is home to substantial populations of Chinese (Buddhists), Indians (Hindus), Malays (Muslims), and Europeans (Christians). All seem to get along just fine. The city's largest Hindu temple is literally next door to a mosque and a block down the street from a gigantic Buddhist temple. All manage to coexist just fine. We could learn something.


The streets in Singapore are well laid-out. Traffic is managed effectively, largely courtesy of a central business district that requires vehicles to pay to enter (using an electronic toll transponder that all vehicles have installed) during business hours, as well as a plethora of LED signs alerting motorists to traffic congestion on the roads ahead, allowing them to search out alternate routes. The public transit network (bus and subway) is similarly well-planned and efficient, making it easy to get anywhere in the city. Most of the people live in Le Courbousian high-rise apartment complexes arranged around central courtyards. By building up rather than out, the city maintains many areas of greenery in parks and forests, punctuated only by the pink of orchids, Singapore's national flower. Two such examples are Mt. Faber, a tree-covered hill overlooking the city, and Sentosa Island, a beach resort at the southernmost point of the Asian continent.

Above all, capitalism reigns supreme. Be it the central business district or the high-end Orchard Road shopping district or a street market in Chinatown, Singapore's roots as a colonial trading post are clearly evident. But keep in mind, however, that this cleanliness and order comes at the expense of freedom of the press, two-party rule, humane criminal punishments, and small government. Is it a price worth paying?

For pictures of my Singapore trip, click here.

My Travel Map

Well, I'm back from my trip to Singapore and Malaysia. While I'm in the process of uploading my pictures, I thought I'd whet your appetite with a map of all the thirty countries that I've visited. It sounds like a lot, but then you see all the grey on the map, particularly in Africa and Asia, and you realize how much more exploring remains to be done. A listing of every country I've entered and exited, including transits, since 2001 (and it was only Canada and Mexico before that -- boring!) can be found here. I've also updated my list of passport stamps, airports, transit systems, and Amazing Race destinations.

Singapore Swing

Well, I'm off on yet another crazy spring break trip. This time around, I tried to find the farthest I could go for the least amount of money. The result? Singapore. Yeah, it'll take over a full day each way to get there, but that's fine. And, since I'm so close to it anyway, I'll be spending a couple of days in Malaysia as well, adding yet another country to my impressive list that's already pushing thirty. I'll be back by March 29th, assuming I don't vandalize any cars and get sentenced to six lashes with a bamboo cane, which means that It's A Magical World will be on hiatus until then. See you next week with pictures and reports!

Top Five Stupid Protest Chants

I attended college at Brown, where protesting was a varsity sport. In my four years, I've heard just about every chant there is, and I was continually amazed at how uncreative Ivy League students could be. While I might actually give your protest a second glance if it involves people smeared in fake blood or topless women, I just laugh at some of these stupid chants. Here are the worst.

1. What do we want? [blank]! When do we want it? Now!
Okay, this one is just a simple demand. And you're demanding it immediately. It's basically just noise. You're not offering a compromise to the problem, you're just being completely uncooperative and making things worse.

2. We're here! We're queer! Get used to it!
The archetypal chant for a gay pride rally has been so effective that we indeed have totally gotten used to gays prancing around demanding attention and don't really care anymore. I have absolutely no problem with the life choice you make. I just wish you wouldn't feel the need to make a spectacle of yourself.

3. Hey hey, ho ho, [blank] has got to go!
Like the "what do we want?" chant, this one is yet another unadulterated demand. Once again, no solution to the problem is proposed, just a demand to stop the problem itself. Real constructive.

4. No justice, no peace!
What exactly does this mean? Is it an expository statement? (there is no justice or peace in the world right now) A major premise of a syllogism? (if there is no justice, there can be no peace) A threat? (Give us justice or we'll make sure you don't have peace) A demand? (We don't want justice or peace) Someone please clue me in.

5. Hell no, we won't go!
This chant somewhat made sense back in the Vietnam War days, where protestors would declare that they wouldn't go to war if drafted. But despite the best efforts of Charlie Rangel, we haven't had a draft for 35 years. Since the government isn't really compelling us to go anywhere under penalty of law anymore, this chant has sort of outlived its usefulness.

Honorable mention: Anything with the f-bomb
Dropping curse words basically reduces your protest to the least common denominator of shouting insults at one another. Extremely enlightening.

Top Five Timeless Game Shows

This top five list highlights those television game shows that have been on forever, including up until the present day, without any major changes in game play or objective.

1. The Price Is Right
I am convinced that Bob Barker will live forever. While the host may replace his models (Barker's Beauties) every few years to keep them young and attractive, Barker himself has a timeless quality to him. The object of the show, and even most of the individual games, have remained essentially unchanged from when I was seven years old and would watch TPIR on CBS at 11 a.m. on days when I was home from school. I still watch TPIR on CBS at 11 a.m. on days when I'm home from law school. Things like the big wheel, the Plinko board, and the phrase "a new car!" have become cultural icons.

2. Jeopardy!
Jeopardy! is what I would call a pure game show -- Alex Trebek reads a question, the first person to buzz in gets to answer it, and you get points if you're right. It's that simple. I never quite understood the purpose of putting the answers in the form of a question, but it's become such an engrained part of the show that nobody would mess with it now. The only substantive part of the show that's changed in my lifetime has been the dollar values. Jeopardy! gets bonus points for inspiring one of the funniest series of sketches in the history of Saturday Night Live.

3. Wheel Of Fortune
The Wheel has undergone more changes than its time-slot partner Jeopardy! over the years. (Does any remember when the winner of a round would get to go shopping with his winnings?) Hostess Vanna White has now been made obsolete thanks to a computer-controlled board, but they keep her around anyway. For someone who's 50 years old, she's fabulous eye candy. But again, a time traveler from 20 years ago would still easily recognize Wheel Of Fortune and knows exactly what you mean when you offer to buy a vowel.

4. Family Feud
The Feud has been hosted by a variety of colorful (or obnoxious, depending on how you think about it) characters over the course of the years, from ladies' man Richard Dawson to suicidal Ray Combs to human blob Louis Anderson to Al from Home Improvement and today, J. Peterman from Seinfeld. But again the objective is the same: ask one hundred people to answer a question about some random category, put the top several answers on board, and see how out of touch the contestants are with mainstream America. If you're lucky, you can catch an episode where family members on the same team genuinely dislike each other.

5. Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?
Okay, so this show hasn't been around quite as long as the others, but it's one of the few game shows that remains in regular continuous production today. It was a cultural event when it first premiered on ABC's primetime lineup during sweeps month in 1999. Today, it runs in syndication, airs at midday, and is hosted by Meredith Vieira instead of Regis Philbin. But the deceptive simple concept remains the same -- answer 15 multiple choice questions in a row while sitting in the hotseat and win a million bucks. That's pretty much all there is to it. Since there's just one contestant competing against the bank, it's easy for the audience to get behind and get to know him as the game goes on. The potential for this show to last as long as TPIR or Wheel or Jeopardy! is clearly there.

What You Want, When You Want It

The internet is making television obsolete. If I want to watch Lost, I can turn on the television at 10 p.m. on Wednesday night (or whenever the hell it's on), or I can log onto abc.com and watch it whenever the hell I want, without even having to sit through most of the commercials. We are no longer held hostage to the network's schedule. It's an even better situation for March Madness, where your local television station only shows one of the four games going on simultaneously. Interested in watching mid-major darling Butler play against Maryland while some suit at CBS headquarters insists the Boston station show the Louisville-Texas A&M game? It's not a problem. Just log onto cbssportsline.com. The game's on a 30-second delay and you don't get the crawl of other scores across the top of the screen (though you can just check them on the internet anyway), but in all other respects, it's the exact same telecast, announcers and all. Freedom is great.


The television industry has a ways to go until it fully embraces the new technology. Right now, it has settled on an awkward compromise where only certain shows are available online, notably reality shows and serials (Survivor, Heroes, 24), while other fan favorites cannot be seen on the internet (The Office, The Amazing Race). In order to preserve a stream of revenue, the online feeds has commercials through which you can't fast forward, but given that the average online feed has three minutes of ads, compared to sixteen on the old-fashioned tube, you can't really complain. It's great for the viewer, but I can't see how it's great for the network. To my dismay, they are missing out on all sorts of ad revenues, so if they want to keep up this service, they either need to severely limit the shows available or (gasp!) charge a fee for the ability to watch. Picture and audio concerns notwithstanding (and internet service reliability as well, if that's an issue for you), there are only two reasons why anyone would watch real TV: time-sensitive programs like American Idol, and those few "water cooler" programs that everyone else will be talking about the next day. Otherwise, take away my TV and leave me my computer, because I won't need anything else.

Top Five Reasons March Madness Is Awesome, Baby!

1. Twelve-hour days of basketball
The first weekend of the tournament, you have games that start at noon and continue throughout the day, virtually without interruption. And unlike the NFL Playoffs (or even the NBA or MLB playoffs, for the most part), there are multiple games going on at the same time. If your scheduled game is a blowout, the network will switch to something more exciting.

2. The little guys run with the big dogs
Unlike the BCS, where you pretty much have to be a member of the six power conferences to even get a sniff at major bowl game, teams from the mid-major and minor conferences enter the NCAA's on equal footing with the big boys. As a result, you can have schools like Gonzaga make the Elite Eight and George Mason make the Final Four. Theoretically speaking, and one of the 65 times has a chance to win the national title.

3. It's win or go home
Compare March Madness with college football bowls: You lose a mid-level bowl game and your season is done. You win a mid-level bowl game and your season is done. The incentive just isn't there, especially since exactly two teams (maybe three) have a shot at the national championship. In college basketball, there's always something left to, always another opponent waiting for you in two days time. Every game could be you last, but none of them (before the final) ever has to be.

4. It's all about the games, not the money
March Madness is an incredible financial enterprise. Yet, unlike the BCS which slaps a corporate sponsor on everything to try to squeeze as much money as possible out of the games they put on (and the games are often ancillary to the parades, banquets, and tailgate parties that take place), March Madness does everything possible to distance itself from corporate interests and even the professional sports teams that call the host arenas home. The games are the events themselves. There are no fancy introductions. There are no million-dollar shots or Ashlee Simpson performances at halftime. The entertainment is provided by the cheerleaders and the bands. And the championship trophy is presented by the NCAA President, not the Senior Vice President of Marketing.

5. Things are settled on the court
You don't need a panel of experts and a bunch of computers to decide who will face off for the national title. You let the games speak for themselves. Yeah, there's a human factor involved in the selection of the at-large teams and the seeding, but it's not like Syracuse really had the chance of winning the national title this year anyway. And, if you manage to win six straight games, nobody else can say that they were more deserving but didn't get a chance since the pollsters wouldn't vote their way.

Massachusetts Political Shorts

It looks like the University of Massachusetts didn't learn its lesson from the Billy Bulger saga and once again appointed a career politician with no academic experience to a top leadership position. This time, it's Congressman Marty Meehan (of "Marty, a ham and cheese on rye, Marty!" "Yes, sir!" fame), who is the new chancellor of UMass-Lowell. Meehan is hardly underqualified for the position, since he's never been indicted for obstruction of justice. In my opinion, Tom Finneran would have been a much better choice.

Governor Deval Patrick announced that he's scaling back his schedule to spend more time with his wife, who is suffering from depression. That's funny, I though we were already paying someone $72,000 a year to take of his wife.

Speaking of Patrick, there's a burger place in Harvard Square that names its sandwiches after celebrities. Their latest offering is called the Deval Patrick. It's described as "the Cadillac of hamburgers." The cost? A mere $1,166 (registration and title extra).

Finally, in all seriousness, It's A Magical World mourns the loss of Supreme Judicial Court Justice Martha Sosman. Unlike other justices on the SJC (margaretmarshall, ahem), Sosman would rigidly analyze the law when making her decisions, rather than issuing judgments on the basis of political viewpoints and backfilling with some bogus legal analysis that gave her the result she wanted. Sosman was an abortion rights activist and a suspected homosexual, yet she consistently left her politics in chambers and considered only the law while on the bench. She developed a reputation for repeatedly dissenting from the majority opinions, most notably in the Goodridge v. Department of Public Health gay marriage case. As an independent judicial voice, she was a valuable asset to the judiciary of Massachusetts and will be sorely missed, especially since Deval Patrick gets to appoint her replacement.

Top Five Epic Classic Rock Songs

The rules: (1) The song must be long, i.e. pushing six minutes at minimum (2) The song must be one of the two or three seminal works by that band (3) the song must be propulsive and engaging to the point where you hope it's never over.

1. "Stairway to Heaven," Led Zeppelin
Even without the accusation that the song contains Satanic messages when played backwards, Stairway is a true classic. I was introduced to it as the traditional last song at my high school dances, and after a short amount of time, the opening guitar line along with the gradual increase in tempo to the final climax before the sudden cutback became one of my favorite pieces of music.

2. "Bohemian Rhapsody," Queen
Bohemian Rhapsody was the song that made Queen famous. Freddie Mercury's opus magnum was an incredibly complex for its time interweaving of vocal tracks, instruments, and special effects, complete with an opera section. Thanks to Wayne's World, a whole new generation was able to enjoy the wonder that is this song.

3. "Free Bird," Lynyrd Skynyrd
All you need to do is listen to this song once -- and not even the whole song, just the extended guitar solo at the end -- to understand why yahoos are always screaming for cover bands to play it.

4. "Light My Fire," The Doors
Light My Fire is yet another example of how great a song you can make with short, perfunctory lyrics followed by an extended instrumental. Since it predates all the other songs on the list you can hear the psychadelic motifs of the late 1960's. It's the kind of song that you think is just about to end, and yet, it keeps going on and on.

5. "November Rain," Guns N' Roses
I'm taking a huge liberty here by considering this 1992 song to be classic rock. Anyhow, November Rain has a great orchestral backdrop, punctuated in the middle by the obligatory virtuouso guitar solo. Then, once you think the song is over, you get to the extended coda that changes the mood completely. Instead of sitting there sulking, you want to run out and punch someone.

Honorable Mention: "Layla," Derek and the Dominos
The distinctive guitar melody line just goes to prove that Clapton is indeed God. For someone introduced to Eric Clapton through his Unplugged album, discovering the old school Derek and the Dominos cuts surprised me how this guy could actually rock out. The first half of the song gets you out of your seat and dancing. Then, the piano kicks in for the more sedate but equally rich second movement.

Daylight Savings Whine

Daylight Savings Time began today, three weeks earlier than normal, which means we've been bombarded by the same banal news stories the media rolls out every single year, talking about how incredibly disruptive the time change is to your health and how we'd be much better just keeping the clock in one place the entire year.

Boo f---ing hoo! To anyone who is whining about having lost an hour of sleep last night, I challenge you to hop a plane to the Far East and deal with the 11-hour difference that you experience once you land in Japan. You know what an hour time-change is? It's what you get from a flight to Chicago or a late-night phone call from your significant other or a baby that won't stop crying. It's not a big deal, people. I mean, show me someone whose sleep schedule never varies by anything close to an hour and I'll show you someone who's not making the most out of life.

Get past it, folks!

And P.S., for the last time, it's not an extra hour of daylight. Today is no longer or shorter than the same day last year, when Daylight Savings wasn't in effect until April. All we did was borrow an hour from the beginning of the day, when most people are still asleep, and stick it on the end of the day. It's not an astronomical miracle; it's legislative sleight of hand.

Celebrity Gossip Potpourri

• We believe that Tom Brady knocked up his ex-girlfriend Bridget Moynahan. Now, it turns out, his current girlfriend, Gisele Bundchen, is pregnant as well. This situation has quickly graduated from Maury Povich-land into Jerry Springer territory. While I'd love to see Moynahan and Bundchen slap each other and tear each other's clothes off, they're way too attractive compared to the usual fodder on Springer.

• Michael Jackson held a fundraiser in Japan where people could buy a minute's worth of face time with the gloved one for $3,500. Of course, male fans under the age of 14 could get in for free. Paging Chris Hansen!

• This season I have successfully avoided watching American Idol and caring about any of the instantly-minted new celebrities that have suddenly and inexplicably become household names. Well, there has been one exception. I really don't care about people singing or making fools of themselves at auditions or verbally sparring with Simon Cowell. But when Antonella Barba's former "friend" had soft-core pornographic pictures of her posted online, that's what caught my attention.

• What would a celebrity gossip post be without the obligatory Paris Hilton reference?

• Least surprising news of the day: Eddie van Halen is checking (back) into rehab.

• We haven't given much attention to Britney's Spears nosedive into insanity (and we've managed to pretend that the whole Anna Nicole Smith saga never happened), but it must be pointed out that it takes a ton of skill to make Kevin Federline seem like the good parent.

Fun With Ethnic Stereotypes

One of these middle-aged women is French and the other is German. Guess which is which.


If you guessed that the lithe, relatively attractive one on the left was French and the brusque, matronly one on the right was German, well, you'd be correct. The two women are French opposition party candidate Ségolène Royal and German chancellor Angela Merkel. Merkel, believe it or not, is actually a year younger than Royal, even though she looks ten years older.





P.S. Happy birthday Tigger!

In The Media We Don't Trust

Yet another example of the sensationalistic media not letting the facts get in the way of a good story:

A headline on many news websites yesterday said something about "New Dollar Coins Are God-less" or "'In God We Trust' Missing From New Dollar Coins." You are supposed to be horrified, thinking one of two things: The Michael Newdow atheist types of the world and the judicial cowboys of the 9th Circuit could have succeeded in declaring one of America's long-standing monetary traditions unconstitutional, or, subversive forces deep inside the U.S. Mint made a grave "mistake" in "accidentally" casting dies of these new coins without the motto. Either way, it's a horrible travesty that chips away at our American societal roots.

Well, the real facts are much less sexy -- it was a production error that affected a tiny percentage of the coins minted. The error prevented any of the edge lettering from being engraved. In addition to "In God We Trust," that edge lettering includes the "E Pluribus Unum" motto, the date, and the mint mark. But obviously, a missing mint mark doesn't sell nearly as many papers as does the allusion to an atheistic revolution.

List Of Transit Systems I've Been On

Subway (heavy rail)
Athens - Attiko Metro
Atlanta - MARTA
Barcelona - Metro
Belo Horizonte - Metro
Boston - MBTA Red, Orange, Blue lines
Brussels - Metro
Budapest - Metro
Buenos Aires - Subte
Cairo - Metro
Istanbul - Metro
Kuala Lumpur - LRT, KL Monorail
Kyoto - Municipal Subway
London - Underground
Madrid - Metro
Montreal - Metro
Munich- U-Bahn
New York - Subway
Paris - Metro
Philadelphia - SEPTA
Prague - Metro
Rio de Janeiro - Metro
Rome - Metro
Singapore - MRT
Tokyo - Metro
Vienna - U-Bahn
Washington D.C. - Metro

Light Rail
Baltimore - Light Rail **
Boston - MBTA Green Line D Branch*
Dallas - DART Light Rail***
Houston - METRORail**
London - Docklands Light Rail*, Croydon Tramlink**
Los Angeles - Metro Rail Green and Blue* Lines
Philadephia - SEPTA Light Rail
Portland, Ore. - MAX**
San Diego - Trolley**
San Jose - VTA Light Rail**

Streetcar
Basel - Tram
Boston - MBTA Green Line B,C,E, Branches*
Brussels - Tram
Budapest - Tram
Istanbul - Tramway
New Orleans - Streetcar
Philadelphia - SEPTA Green Lines*
Prague - Tram
San Francisco - MUNI*
Vienna - Strassenbahn
Warsaw - Tram
Zurich - Tram

Intermediate Rail (heavy rail)
Frankfurt - S-Bahn
Istanbul - TCDD Suburban Trains
Kyoto - JR Sagano Line
Munich- S-Bahn
Osaka - JR Outer Loop Line
Paris - RER
San Francisco/Oakland - BART
Tokyo - JR Yamanote and Chuo Lines
Vienna - S-Bahn
Zurich - S-Bahn

Commuter Rail (heavy rail)
Amsterdam - Dutch Railways
Bern - BLS Lötschbergbahn
Boston - MBTA Commuter Rail
Kyoto/Osaka - JR Kansai Express, JR Kyoto Line
London - Heathrow Express
New York - Metro North Railroad
Rome - Fiumicino Express

Specialty
Athens - Lycavittos Hill Funicular
Barcelona - Montjuic Funicular
Detroit - People Mover
Jungfrau Region - Berner Oberland Bahn, Bergbahn Lauterbrunnen-Mürren
Las Vegas - Monorail, Bellagio-Monte Carlo tram, Excalibur-Luxor-Mandalay Bay tram, Mirage-Treasure Island tram, Ballys-MGM Grand tram (now defunct)
New York - AirTrain JFK
Orlando - Walt Disney World Monorail
Seattle - Seattle Center Monorail

* Subway portion in urban core
** Streetcar portion in urban core
*** Subway and streetcar portions in urban core

Types Of Transit Systems

In preparing my list of transit systems I've been on for tomorrow, I realized that some definitions were in order.

Heavy Rail
Traditional, elongated train cars that are significantly larger and heavier than highway vehicles.

Subway
Traditional transit system designed for moving passengers around an urban core. Often, but not necessarily, composed of significant underground portions, particularly in the most-densely developed areas of the city.

Light Rail
Smaller train cars, often articulated, with dimensions and mass comparable to a bus, capable of running on street trackage without overwhelming automobile traffic. Operates along a dedicated right of way, generally to transport commuters from outlying areas or park-and-ride facilities to the urban core. May include an underground subway-like portion or surface-level streetcar-like portion in the urban core.

Streetcar
Light rail that runs either along tracks that are shared with automobiles or in dedicated reservations parallel to roads with frequent crossings at grade. May include an underground subway-like portion in the urban core.

Intermediate Rail
A heavy rail service that transports commuters into the urban core but also moves people around the urban core. It is often (but not always) a fare controlled system and is intimately tied into the subway network.

Commuter Rail
A heavy rail service designed to move people into and out from the urban core, rather than within the urban core. It is designed for commuters (or, in certain instances, passengers headed to the airport) and may make heavy use of park-and-ride lots at stations.

Specialty
A type of service that is either separate from or merely adjunct to the municipal transit system. It is often designed not to take commuters into the urban core but to move tourists to and between various attractions. Does not include services that are limited to transporting passengers within airports, but may include similar services that have off-airport stops.

Note: Please excuse the lengthy delays in between my last few posts. While I do my best to keep my head above water, occasionally law school does take over my life, and unfortunately, the creative outlet is the first thing to go.

Welcome Back, March!

Today is March 1st. It's one of my favorite days of the year. When the calendar turns to March, it means February is over. In my humble opinion (and when is it ever humble?), February is the worst month of the year. By February, winter has completely lost its novelty. The cold weather hs grown tiresome and the short days, while they do start to grow longer, nonetheless remain depressing. Short of the Super Bowl (and perhaps Daytona), Feburary is the year's worst month for sports. The NBA and the NHL are in the midst of their interminable regular seasons and football is over for all but two teams, meaning that unless it's a quadrennial Winter Olympic year, even sports cannot provide a saving grace.

All that changes today. When the calendar turns to March, it means that spring is in sight. It means that we can finally start talking about baseball. It means that in a few short weeks, the day will be as long as the night. We'll have brackets to fill out. We'll have a fighting chance at ditching our winter jackets. We'll celebrate Evacuation Day by partying like it's 1776. We'll celebrate St. Patrick's Day by partying until our blood alcohol level is .1776. And above all, we know that it will be another 337 days before February rolls around again. It may only last 28 days, but the shortest month is also the cruelest. Thank goodness it is over.

P.S. Please excuse the unannounced hiatus in It's A Magical World's publishing schedule. Law school can be a bitch sometimes.