Bottom Seven Wonders

These seven nominees are the most dubious selections that Bernhard Weber made for his list.

1. Statue of Liberty, New York, United States
As a piece of public art, the Statue of Liberty is a beautiful, iconic gatekeeper to New York harbor. As a work of engineering, the statue is much less noteworthy. It's nowhere close to the most amazing structure in the United States, it's not the most amazing structure in New York, and heck, it's not even the most amazing structure in New York constructed during the 1880's (that would be the Brooklyn Bridge). Weber's campaign is for the seven world wonders, not the seven world symbols.

2. Sydney Opera House, Sydney, Australia
Again, this structure is more of a symbol than a wonder. True, the Opera House employs a striking design. Sydney's harbourscape is instantly recognizable thanks to the Opera House. But from an engineering standpoint, it's not that impressive. I guess that in a country with relatively few landmarks, the Opera House stands out. In the world at large, however, there's just too much superior competition.

3. Stonehenge, Wiltshire, United Kingdom
For a landmark that dates back to the Stone Age, Stonehenge is truly impressive. How ancient man managed to stack these monoliths and arrange them in near-perfect alignment with astronomical patterns is one of life's great mysteries. But in this exercise, Stonehenge needs to be evaluated in the company of its younger brethren. By comparison to the likes of some of these other wonders, Stonehenge is a pile of rocks.

4. Cristo Redentor, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
The Art Deco statue of Christ Redeeming the World, perched atop the 2300-foot mountain that towers of the beaches of Rio de Janeiro, is a sight to behold. It is especially impressive at night, when the floodlight Christ appears to be hovering over the city. Ninety percent of what makes the statue so impressive, however, is the terrain, which was in place long before man did his work. The statue is only 125 feet tall, and while the location is striking, it's hardly worthy of being considered a wonder.

5. Hagia Sophia, Istanbul, Turkey
I don't consider the Hagia Sophia the most impressive structure on its street, let alone one of the top seven in the world. It is certainly massive, but I found the Hagia Sophia just a tiny bit bland from an aesthetic view. It was originally a Byzantine cathedral, but when the Ottoman Empire took over Constantinople, they co-opted it and turned it into a mosque. Inside, you can see where the Ottomans took the paintings of crosses and turned them into Islamic motifs. Evidence of a remarkable intersection of cultures does not justify a world wonder. The Blue Mosque, a quarter-mile away, is a much more stunning structure, with its burgeoning series of domes and six towering minarets, a number exceeded only in Mecca.

6. Neuschwanstein Castle, Fussen, Germany
It may be the picture-perfect central European castle, and it's certainly an impressive structure perched in an impressive location. I don't think it's really head-and-shoulders above other European castles and palaces that didn't make the list, so frankly, I don't see what the big deal is.

7. Kiyomizu Temple, Kyoto, Japan
I visited this temple complex when I was in Kyoto. It's a beautiful complex that overlooks Kyoto from the hills to the East of the city. Visiting on a random Wednesday when the place was overcrowded with Japanese pilgrims was a transcendant cultural experience (especially since the weather went from rainy to almost completely sunny in a half-hour span). As I was making my way through the complex however, at no point did it ever occur to me that the temple might be considered a world wonder.

Top Five Disqualified World Wonders

This list consists of the best potential nominees for the New 7 Wonders that would be disqualified from consideration, under Bernhard Weber's rules, because they no longer exist, or because they don't yet exist, or because they're so amorphous that you can't even really tell whether they exist or not.

1. Temple Mount, Jerusalem, Israel
The Temple Mount is a wonder not so much because of what it is, but because of what it was. The late Peter Jennings called it the most interesting half-acre in the world. According to legend, Abraham's sacrifice of Isaac, the final disposition of the Ark of the Covenant, and Muhammed's assent to heaven all took place right here, and Jesus' crucifixion happened just down the street. The problem is that the Temple of Jerusalem is long since destroyed. While the Western Wall remains, and while tourists can still walk around atop the Mount (should they choose to ignore the rabbinical opinion that doing so violates the biblical prohibition of entering the Holy of Holies), we are left to imagine the Temple in its former glory.

2. Burj Dubai, Dubai, United Arab Emirates
This tower is scheduled to be completed in 2009. The official height is a closely-guarded secret, but conservative estimates put it at close to 2,700 feet and 162 stories. If the actual tower ends up anywhere close to that tall, it will easily eclipse any other free-standing structure on the planet. The tower is being constructed with a Y-shaped cross-section, designed to maximize views of the Persian Gulf for the given amount of floor space. The exterior of the tower is scalloped and the setbacks spiral around the tower as it rises, both of which give the tower an Islamic flair.

3. World Trade Center, New York, United States
Just one of the sheer, block-like towers would make this list. Having two of them side-by-side makes them three times as impressive. Most skyscrapers narrow in floor area as the height increases. The World Trade Center was as wide at the top as it was in the bottom, adding to its distinctive appearance and place as the centerpiece of the world's most iconic skyline. Sadly, both towers were destroyed in the 9/11 attacks, costing the world one of its wonders. One will never again get to enjoy the amazing vista one used to get when standing between the two towers and looking up.

4. La Sagrada Familia, Barcelona, Spain
Construction began on Antonio Gaudi's modernist take on the cathedral in 1882. It is expected to be completed in 2026. What appears to be a Gothic-style cathedral in the distance is actually an avant-garde rendering of the traditional form, complete with Gaudi's trademark parabolic architecture and mosaics composed of crushed-up colored tiles. When complete, the church will have an unwieldy 18 towers, each one dedicated to an apostle, an evangelist, the Virgin Mary, or Jesus Christ himself. You can tell which is which by the oversized letter mounted atop each one. Most cathedrals have sculptures of saints or biblical scenes near the entryway, and the Sagrada Familia is no exception, except that the Sagrada Familia's sculptures range from unorthodox to disturbing. After being interrupted by the Franco regime, construction on the Sagrada Familia is making slow but steady progress. If and when it's finally done, it will prove a worth nominee to the list.

5. Second Life, Cyberspace
Okay, I'm taking a bit of creative license on this one. Basically, Second Life is The Matrix. From your own computer screen, your avatar can interact in a live, three-dimensional world with avatars controlled by other people across the globe. We're not talking IM's and chat rooms here. Retail outlets have set up stores in Second Life while Reuters has dispatched a full-time correspondent to the virtual world. Recently, virtual protestors threw virtual grenades and fired virtual guns at the virtual headquarters of very real French presidential candidate of Jean-Marie Le Pen. (Okay, fine, a disproportionate amount of this world is devoted to sex and gambling, but it's just giving people what they want.)

Top Five Airports For Transit

1. Hong Kong
Simply put, this airport is gorgeous. Transit is virtually seamless, since passengers are discharged into an arrivals corridor, having to clear security at one of several satellite checkpoints before going up a staircase and being right back in the main terminal. All the gates are located in the same terminal, so it never takes long to switch flights. You might have to walk a couple hundred feet, and that's it. There's a large shopping concourse at the center of the terminal. If you have extra time, you can clear passport control and head over to the Skyplaza, which is an even bigger shopping mall (it takes ten minutes to get out and ten minutes to get back in, and that's it). For me, I'm happy to just sit there and admire the architecture.

2. Amsterdam-Schiphol
Schiphol is a remarkably efficient airport. There is one central terminal with various concourses jutting out from it. Even at peak periods, passport control and security proceeds quickly. What sets Schiphol apart are the attractions inside the terminal, including a casino and a branch of the world-reknowned Rijksmuseum.

3. Toronto-Pearson
Now the renovations of Terminal One are complete, Toronto can take its place among the crown jewels of the world's airports. The spotless, spacious new terminal shines in the sunlight, which you can see from the floor-to-ceiling windows. The airport has also managed to streamline connections. Passengers from outside Canada can transfer to international flights through an express passport control checkpoint. Passengers bound for the United States pre-clear customs in Toronto, so that once they arrive back in America, they can just get on their way (or connect to another flight) with no further formalities.

4. Denver
The massive blizzard that paralyzed this airport last winter was the exception rather than the rule. While the airport is massive, a set of four-abreast moving sidewalks can get you from gate to gate quickly. Denver's runway configuration allows multiple planes to take off simultaneously with no possibility of cross-traffic. High-speed taxiways allow planes to reach even the most decent runways quickly. When a snowstorm does move in, a couple dozen deicing stations are set up on the tarmac to keep aircraft moving out.

5. Vienna-Schwechat
Vienna's airport is much more low-key than some of its European brethren. The terminal area looks like a shopping mall (and not one 0f those Heathrow-style in-your-face shopping malls) rather than an airport, which cuts down on the stress levels. Lines are short. In fact, most gates contain their own security checkpoint, so it's impossible to miss your flight because you're stuck at security. It's also a small enough airport that congestion isn't an issue.

And yeah, all these airports are aesthetic marvels. A nice-looking airport can make your layover all that much easier.

Stupid Spoiled Prisoner

I really wish all the media could get together with all the bloggers and agree to never mention Paris Hilton again. Since I'm sure that will never happen, I might as well chime in.

When I found out that Hilton had been released from prison and placed under house arrest five days into her 45-day sentence, I thought that Rick and Kathy slipped a few G's into the pocket of Los Angeles County Sheriff Lee Baca. After Baca's press conference today, I remain satisfied that his explanation, which was that Hilton had medical issues and wasn't receiving her medication. Baca said that an inmate has the right to receive medication, but he or his lawyers need to apprise the sheriff of that need. In court today, she was quivering and showing signs of disorientation, which leads me to believe she was in withdrawal (Paris Hilton dependent on controlled substances? Who would have thought?! Maybe it was just alcohol withdrawal, since she hasn't been drinking in a week.)

I do believe that Hilton wasn't getting her meds. However, my theory is that her lawyers deliberately withheld her medical info from the sheriff's department, knowing that the shakes she would develop within a few days would serve as a get out of jail free card. It's borderline unethical. Fortunately, the sentencing judge wouldn't let this fast one stand, sending Hilton back to the slammer.

I would have much more respect for Hilton if pulled a Martha Stewart and took her punishment like a woman. (I would also have much more respect for Hilton if she didn't open her legs for any guy who buys her a shot of Jaegermeister, but let's be realistic here.) Instead, Hilton was dragged into court today kicking and screaming after trying to sneak out of her sentence -- not exactly a role model. By contrast, Martha Stewart, who decided to serve her punishment just to get out of the way and move on, is now enjoying incredible popularity. I don't remember Stewart crying or yelling for her mother when she was led off to prison.

As a postscript, demagogue extraordinare Al Sharpton felt the need to come out of the woodwork and spill his guts to the always-compliant media. I never thought I'd actually say this, but the windbag got things right. He pointed out that an impoverished, minority inmate would never get such treatment. Thankfully, he fell short of actually accusing the sheriff's department of racial favorism, merely alluding to it. While I wish Sharpton would just keep his trap shut altogether, he makes a good point this time.

Top Five World Wonders Substitutions

This list is reserved for potential new nominees to the list that would replace a structure in the same country which is already nominated.

1. Golden Gate Bridge, San Francisco, United States
The Golden Gate Bridge would replace the Statute of Liberty, which, while a beautiful and enduring symbol of the American Dream, is undersized and rather unremarkable from an engineering standpoint. Not only is the Golden Gate Bridge gorgeous, it was the largest bridge of its type when constructed (remaining massive to this day) and conquers a notoriously difficult tidal channel.

2. Cathedral of Notre Dame, Chartres, France
The Eiffel Tower might be worthy of inclusion on the list, but we should still consider the Cathedral of Chartres. It is the pinnacle of gothic architecture, with intricate carvings around the doors and windows and a soaring vaulted roof which seems to hover over the cathedral, thanks to the flying buttress support system.

3. Forbidden City, Beijing, China
Nothing in the world can possibly rival the Great Wall for sheer mass and breadth. The Forbidden City, which not quite as large, is still remarkable in its own right. The former palace of China's emperors is a complex consisting of 800 buildings (including a Starbucks), spanning an area of 172 acres. The roofs of all the different buildings are covered in yellow tiles with a series of intricately carved statuettes on each corner, the number of which signify the status of the building.

4. Nazca Lines, Peru
Machu Picchu is a wonderful example of how the Incas tamed topography and harsh climate at high elevations in order to construct a self-supporting city in the heights on the Andes. Equally impressive, however, are the pictoglyphs in the Nazca desert. There are over seventy animal and human figures carved in the ground. Since many of the figures approach 900 feet in length, they are not visible except from the air. Lacking the technology to view their creations from above means that the Nazca people had to make their designs without the benefit of even seeing what they were doing.

5. Winter Palace, St. Petersburg, Russia
The original list cheats by lumping The Kremlin and St. Basil's Cathedral together as one wonder, since they are actually separate structures, constructed at very different times. Instead, I propose the Winter Palace in St. Petersburg. While not as stereotypically Russian as St. Basil's, the Winter Palace is a rococo masterpiece indicative of the imperial excess that eventually doomed the tsars. The palace, on the banks of the Neva river, has over 1,000 rooms, many of which are filled with ornately sclupted and gilded architectural flourishes.

Top Five Sports That Aren't Really Sports

This top five list covers those competitions that are undeservedly covered by the media as if they were sports, since they're not real sports.

1. Competitive Eating
Okay, I admit that it's an exercise in physical exertion and that the likes of Kobayashi and Eric "Badlands" Booker train long and hard in order to ingest inhuman amounts of food. But just because something is physical doesn't make it into a sport. These gluttons are no closer to athletes than those freaks on the Guinness World of Records shows that test how much weight they can suspend from their earlobes or how many needles they can stick into their body without bleeding to death.

2. Figure Skating
I've said it before and I'll say it again: any competition in which you wear a costume instead of a uniform is not a sport. I recognize the tremendous athletic ability necessary to perform triple axels and quad toe loops, but the fact that a routine must be set to music and is graded on "artistic impression" effectively moves it out of the sport category.

2a. Ice Dancing
The "sport" includes the word "dancing" in its name. If you thought figure skating was bad, ice dancing takes away the high-risk aerial maneuvers and replaces them with an increased emphasis on artistry. Plus, it's fixed, which makes ice dancing more akin to pro wrestling, rather than any other Olympic sports.

3. Ballroom Dancing
Emmitt Smith and Apolo Anton Ohno proved that athletic ability is a key asset when it comes to ballroom dancing. However, if you can make not one but two American Idol ripoffs out of a competition, it can't be considered a sport.


4. Spelling Bees
I'm all in favor of giving nerdy-looking socially-awkward middle schoolers their time in the spotlight. After all, after being repeatedly stuffed into lockers with their underwear pulled over their head, these kids deserve a break. But one look at these kids (and their overbearing helicopter parents) and you know they're not athletes.

5. Dog Shows
Each year, the Westminster Kennel Club dog show is covered by the USA Network as if it were a sporting event, complete with Joe Garagiola on the (incredibly misinformed) color commentary. (As an aside, let me take this opportunity to recommend the movie "Best In Show" to any of you out there who haven't yet seen it. The movie is one of the most hilarious things I have seen.) The problem with dog shows is that virtually all of the work is done beforehand. First, you have to breed the perfect animal (and any competition which relies upon eugenics is just plain creepy). Then you have to groom the animal perfectly. When you get to the ring, all you have to do is walk the animal around without having him jump up on the judge. Unlike obedience competitions, there's not much that needs to be done when the pressure's on. Instead, it's a canine version of those vegetable judging competitions at the state fair.

Assassination Trivia

For each of the following dates, name the historical figure who was assassinated on that date. For bonus points, name the assassin and the city where the assassination took place. (The date listed is the date of the assassination attempt, not necessarily the date of the historical figure's ultimate death.)

March 15, 44 BCE
July 13, 1793
April 15, 1865
September 6, 1901
June 28, 1914
August 21, 1940
November 22, 1963
April 4, 1968
June 5, 1968
December 8, 1980
November 4, 1995

Click on "Comments" for the answers.

Top Five World Wonders Additions

In order to be an addition to the list, a landmark must conform to the rules for inclusion on the original list and be sited in a country not already represented on the original list.

1. St. Peter's Basilica, Vatican City
Italy is on the list already, but since St. Peter's is in the sovereign territory of the Vatican City State, it can still qualify. Basically, St. Peter's is huge. The cavernous interior of the basilica is made of brightly colored and highlypolished marble, with ornate flourishes and statues inside. If any structure, just standing alone, could inspire conversion to a religion, it's St. Peter's.

2. Kaaba, Mecca, Saudi Arabia
If a second structure, standing alone, could inspire conversion to a religion, it would be the Kaaba. The holiest site for Muslims is a black cube, constructed of marble and remnants of a meteorite, and standing 43 feet tall. It is surrounded by the Al-Haram Mosque which can accomodate 820,000 worshippers and covers 85 acres. During the Hajj, it is completely filled with worshippers, who pray in concentric circles around the Kaaba. It is also the only mosque in the world with seven minarets.

3. CN Tower, Toronto, Canada
The CN Tower's exclusion from the original list is striking, since it is far more remarkable from an engineering standpoint than the iconic but the less monumental Sydney Opera House. Simply put, the CN Tower is the world's tallest free-standing structure. At 1,815 feet, it towers over any skyscaper in the world. The observation deck is fitted with glass floors, allowing for a vertigo-inducing look straight down.

4. Petronas Towers, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
For a while, these twin towers were the tallest buildings in the world, as measured to the tip of their spires. While they have been surpassed in that category, they remain the world's highest twin towers. The towers provide a firm yet gentle punctuation mark on the burgeoning skyline of Kuala Lumpur. The steel and glass the composes the facade glistens in the morning sunlight. If you look closely, you will notice that the towers are not circular but rather resemble this Islamic motif of seven-pointed stars.

5. Lalibela, Ethiopia
Lalibela contains eleven monolithic churches, each one hewn out of a single rock. The churches are all below ground accessible through a pit surrounding the church, with roofs level with the surface. The most famous of these churches is the Church of St. George, which was carved out of the ground in the shape of the cross. These churches are believed to date from the 12th century.