A Tolerable Dose Of Pretension

Huge crowds with loud music and overpriced drinks are not my idea of a fun evening out. Therefore, it should come as no surprise that I tend to dutifully avoid so-called clubs and ultralounges. I really don't see the point.

That all changed Friday night, when, at the vehement behest of co-workers, I accompanied a group of people to Gypsy Bar in downtown Boston. My presence was subject to the agreement that I was free to leave, without protest, anytime after the first 20 minutes. As it turned out, I stayed for two and a half hours.

It became very obvious to me that clubs and ultralounges are designed to give insecure people the opportunity to purchase self-validation. Assuming you're wearing the proper uniform (untucked button-down shirt and jeans for guys, tube tops and strappy heels for ladies) you can penetrate the velvet rope for the opportunity to pay a cover charge for the right to see the inside, thus leaving in your wake all those other people still forced to wait on the street. Then, if you're willing to commit to buying a certain number of overpriced drinks over the course of a night, you can get a table and look down on all the peons forced to stand on the dance floor. If you're really a big spender, you can even obtain your own semi-private alcove, complete with your own bartender, and separated from the masses by a mesh screen which allows people to look in and see how important you are without being able to actually come in contact with you. Feeling good about yourself is only a few hundred bucks away.

Despite the fact that the club turned out to be the exact same place I cynically thought it would be, I actually enjoyed it. With my law firm salary, I was okay dropping ten bucks on a vodka tonic. Since we had such a large group, we had no problem meeting the $300 minimum that our de facto leader was able to negotiate for a table. Therefore, I could hang out at our near our table, away from the ever-burgeoning crowd on the dance floor. The DJ did a great job mixing (which I don't consider much of a talent unless you're really good at it, so that's a huge complement) minute-long snippets of songs from a variety of artists ranging from Aerosmith to the Black-Eyed Peas. Finally, and most importantly, I had a supportive group of friends encouraging me to enjoy myself, which really made me relax and not feel like I needed to impress anyone. I survived until 11:30 before calling it quits, which was a hugely successful night for me.

Yeah, I had fun. And I'd consider doing it again. But the most important thing I learned is that the right group of people can make all the difference.