• We believe that Tom Brady knocked up his ex-girlfriend Bridget Moynahan. Now, it turns out, his current girlfriend, Gisele Bundchen, is pregnant as well. This situation has quickly graduated from Maury Povich-land into Jerry Springer territory. While I'd love to see Moynahan and Bundchen slap each other and tear each other's clothes off, they're way too attractive compared to the usual fodder on Springer.
• Michael Jackson held a fundraiser in Japan where people could buy a minute's worth of face time with the gloved one for $3,500. Of course, male fans under the age of 14 could get in for free. Paging Chris Hansen!
• This season I have successfully avoided watching American Idol and caring about any of the instantly-minted new celebrities that have suddenly and inexplicably become household names. Well, there has been one exception. I really don't care about people singing or making fools of themselves at auditions or verbally sparring with Simon Cowell. But when Antonella Barba's former "friend" had soft-core pornographic pictures of her posted online, that's what caught my attention.
• What would a celebrity gossip post be without the obligatory Paris Hilton reference?
• Least surprising news of the day: Eddie van Halen is checking (back) into rehab.
• We haven't given much attention to Britney's Spears nosedive into insanity (and we've managed to pretend that the whole Anna Nicole Smith saga never happened), but it must be pointed out that it takes a ton of skill to make Kevin Federline seem like the good parent.
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