Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Top Five Stupid Protest Chants

I attended college at Brown, where protesting was a varsity sport. In my four years, I've heard just about every chant there is, and I was continually amazed at how uncreative Ivy League students could be. While I might actually give your protest a second glance if it involves people smeared in fake blood or topless women, I just laugh at some of these stupid chants. Here are the worst.

1. What do we want? [blank]! When do we want it? Now!
Okay, this one is just a simple demand. And you're demanding it immediately. It's basically just noise. You're not offering a compromise to the problem, you're just being completely uncooperative and making things worse.

2. We're here! We're queer! Get used to it!
The archetypal chant for a gay pride rally has been so effective that we indeed have totally gotten used to gays prancing around demanding attention and don't really care anymore. I have absolutely no problem with the life choice you make. I just wish you wouldn't feel the need to make a spectacle of yourself.

3. Hey hey, ho ho, [blank] has got to go!
Like the "what do we want?" chant, this one is yet another unadulterated demand. Once again, no solution to the problem is proposed, just a demand to stop the problem itself. Real constructive.

4. No justice, no peace!
What exactly does this mean? Is it an expository statement? (there is no justice or peace in the world right now) A major premise of a syllogism? (if there is no justice, there can be no peace) A threat? (Give us justice or we'll make sure you don't have peace) A demand? (We don't want justice or peace) Someone please clue me in.

5. Hell no, we won't go!
This chant somewhat made sense back in the Vietnam War days, where protestors would declare that they wouldn't go to war if drafted. But despite the best efforts of Charlie Rangel, we haven't had a draft for 35 years. Since the government isn't really compelling us to go anywhere under penalty of law anymore, this chant has sort of outlived its usefulness.

Honorable mention: Anything with the f-bomb
Dropping curse words basically reduces your protest to the least common denominator of shouting insults at one another. Extremely enlightening.

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