Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Top Five American Gladiators Events

In honor of the revival of the show, I present my all-time top five events in American Gladiators history.

1. Atlasphere
In American Gladiators' version of demolition derby, each contender is enclosed in a giant steel hamster ball which he/she rolls around the arena and tries to settle in one of four scoring pods. If a point is scored, the scoring pod blows smoke into the air. But making things difficult are two gladiators in their own atlaspheres who try to ram into the contenders and keep them from reaching the pods.

2. Assault
Five (or four) stations with various weapons are positioned throughout the arena. Contenders zigzag between each one, firing different types of ordnance (crossbow, cannon, pellet gun, softball grenades, and -- my personal favorite -- the rocket launcher) at a target. Meanwhile, the gladiator stands behind the target and fires tennis balls at 100 m.p.h., trying to hit the contender before they hit the target.

3. The Wall
Scaling a forty-foot rock wall in less than a minute is hard enough. But The Wall sends a gladiator up the wall after each contender. With only a ten-second head start, the gladiators quickly catch up and grab the contenders by the ankles to try to pry them off. If the contenders can somehow elude the grasp of the gladiators while continuously climbing higher and higher, they can conquer The Wall.

4. Pyramid
The concept is similar to The Wall: contenders must climb to the top of a thirty-foot pyramid built from gym mats. Gladiators try to keep them from reaching the top, but this time, the gladiators start on high ground. The gladiators' strategy usually involves tackling the contenders and tumbling with them all the way to the bottom, where the contenders must summon enough intestinal fortitude to try again.

5. Hang Tough
Two platforms are erected in the arena with rings hanging from the ceiling that spans the gap between them. The contender starts from one platform and tries to swing over the opposite platform. But a gladiator starts from the other side with her sights fixed on the contender. Oftentimes, the contender is left holding on for dear life in the middle of the arena with a massive gladiator clutching onto her body.

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