Top Five Despicable Survivors

1. Jon "Jonny Fairplay" Dalton (Pearl Islands)
Jonny Fairplay was an obnoxious malcontent from the very beginning of the Pearl Islands season, picking fights with just about anyone in sight. But Fairplay will be remembered for the greatest lie in Survivor history. When his friend showed up for the loved-one's reward challenge, Fairplay had previously arranged for his friend to tell him that his grandmother had passed away. The tragedy caused the other players to throw the challenge to Fairplay while the Survivor producers scrambled to contact his family back at home. Well, it turned out, as Fairplay confessed to the cameras, that his grandmother was alive and well, sitting at home and watching Jerry Springer. But it didn't stop him from invoking his dead grandmother as an oath during the rest of the season.

2. Dre "Dreamz" Herd (Fiji)
See yesterday's post for more information about Dreamz, but the quick version is that Yau-Man gave Dreamz the F-350 that he won during a reward challenge, in exchange for Dreamz' promise to give up immunity to Yau if he won it in the final challenge. Dreamz gladly accepted the car, and then when he won immunity, he reneged on the promise, despite having declared how grateful he was to be able to show the world how honest and righteous his was.

3. Richard Hatch and Susan Hawk (Borneo, All-Stars)
We all know Richard Hatch as the fat, naked, gay guy who won the first season of Survivor, despite pissing off everyone else stuck on the island with his self-centered theatrics. Susan became famous for delivering the "Snake and Rat" speech at the final tribal council, after Kelly changed her vote, resulting in Susan's dismissal. Richard and Susan reunited for All-Stars, and when Richard got naked and brushed up against Susan, Susan threw a nutty and quit the show.

4. "Boston" Rob Mariano (Marquesas, All-Stars)
In his first stint on Survivor, Boston Rob styled himself as "The Godfather" or "The Puppet Master," pulling strings behind the scenes to control evictions on his own tribe. Then, in All-Stars, Rob fell in love with Amber, going so far as to plead with Lex not to vote off his girl when she switched to the other tribe, promising Lex that he would take care of him in return. Well, at the very next tribal council, Rob decided that he couldn't save Lex after all and went back on his word, eliminating Lex.

5. Brian Heidik (Thailand)
The adult-film-actor-cum-used-car-salesman promised three separate people that he would take them to the final tribal council if he got that far. When five people were left, Brian just kept lying through his teeth, telling people whatever they wanted to hear in order to get them to vote out anyone but him. His shining moment came when he counted down on his fingers the allies he had to screw to win the final vote, ending with only the middle finger standing up. He won the final vote not by being popular but by being the lesser of two evils.

Honorable Mentions
Jerri Manthey (Australian Outback, All-Stars) - drama queen
Osten Taylor (Pearl Islands) - quitter
Jonathan Penner (Cook Islands) - repeated turncoat