Playing The Spread 2K7, Week 5

The new NFL touchdown pass champion is Brett Favre. After flirting with retirement for what seems like three straight years, Favre is off to one of the greatest starts of his career. Despite not having a running game to speak of, the Packers are 4-0 and with the possible exception of the Cowboys, look like the strongest team in the NFC.

But the thing about Brett Favre is that he's an eminently likable guy. Over the past 15 years or so, he's become a pleasant constant in our lives. Heck, the man hasn't missed a start since being given the job in 1992. The Packers' backup quarterback has the most frustrating job in sports this side of Milton Bradley's anger management counselor. When he suffered various family emergencies, we shared his pain with him, then experienced the elation when he responded to his grief with career-best performances.

About the biggest compliment Favre could receive is the standing ovation he got from Vikings fans after breaking Dan Marino's touchdown record on the road. Here's a guy that comes into the Metrodome once a year and gives the hometown team fits. he has single-handedly kept the Vikings out of the playoffs more than one. Yet, the fans of the Purple People Eaters have nothing but respect for Favre. He may be a constant thorn in their side, but they can't say a single bad word about him. He's just plain better than anyone the Vikings have positioned behind center since Fran Tarkenton.

And the crowning glory was seeing the always-irritable Dan Marino clench his teeth and congratulate Favre after yet another one of his records slipped away.

The following selections are for entertainment purposes only and should not be used as the basis for any actual cash wagers.

Last week: 7-7
Season to date: 30-26-6
Best Bets: 2-2
Eliminator: 3-1 (Streak: L 1)
The Monkey: 2-2

Browns (+16.5) over Patriots
Cleveland's strategy of suffering horrifying losses in odd weeks while pulling out improbable victories in even weeks is a perfect recipe for an 8-8 record and yet another thrashing by the Patriots. (Something tells me that Romeo Crennel won't let his team lose by three scores, though.) LOSS

Titans (-8.5) over Falcons
The Falcons and Michael Vick are entering arbitration over whether the team can revoke Vick's signing bonus. The arbitrator will be Special Master Stephen Burbank, who happens to be my old law professor. If memory serves me right, he's a dog owner. LOSS

Texans (-5.5) over Dolphins
You know your season is a lost cause when you get spanked by the Oakland Raiders. I mean, the team went 2-14 last year, and yet, the Fins still lost by three touchdowns. Nick Saban will be laughing all the way to the Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl. LOSS

Jaguars (-2) over Chiefs
Fresh off their shocking upset against the nevertheless overrated Chargers, people are wondering if the Chiefs might be the surprise team of the 2007 season. I'm willing to say no. WIN

Cardinals (-3.5) over Rams
They used to be The Greatest Show On Turf but the Rams managed but a single touchdown last week, and that was off a punt return. Marc Bulger might not be the problem, but Gus Frerotte certainly is not the solution. LOSS

Panthers (+3) over Saints
Each year, there's one team that comes out of nowhere to make waves in the playoffs, only to return to 5-11 obscurity the year afterward. In 2004, it was the Falcons, in 2005, the Bengals, and last year, it was the Saints. NFL experts are desperately clinging to last season and hoping that the Saints turn it around. History tells us that it's time to let go. WIN

Giants (-3.5) over Jets
I picked the Jets as my Eliminator last week, thinking that knocking off the M*A*S*H unit in Buffalo would be a slam dunk. I learned this very important lesson: never underestimate how badly Chad Pennington sucks. WIN

Seahawks (+5.5) over Steelers
You know, if the Seattle Seahawks were to suddenly drop out of the NFL and disband, I'm not sure anybody outside the Pacific Time Zone would even notice. LOSS

Lions (+3.5) over Redskins
I guess I might as well start drinking the Kool-Aid and hop on the Lions bandwagon. According to Jon Kitna, even God has climbed aboard. LOSS

Bucs (+10) over Colts
While Tampa Bay might be the surprise team of the year (amazing what can happen when you replace a QB who got his job through nepotism with someone who's actually earned the position), I can't see them upsetting the Colts on the road. LOSS

Broncos (-1.5) over Chargers
When Marty Schottenheimer's your coach, at least you're in the games until you blow it at the end. LOSS

Ravens (-3.5) over 49ers
Which team will be the first to cough up a huge lead and find themselves in a hole they can't get out of? Find out this Sunday afternoon on CBS! LOSS

Packers (-3) over Bears
The legend of Brett Favre continues. The legend of Rex Grossman is dead. The legend of Brian Griese never existed in the first place. LOSS

Cowboys (-10) over Bills
After doing his best Garo Yepremian impression last week, let's see what Tony Romo can do to toy with the opposition this time around. LOSS

BEST BET: Broncos (-1.5) over Chargers LOSS
ELIMINATOR: New York Giants WIN

THE MONKEY: Rams (+3.5) over Cardinals WIN