Playing The Spread 2K7, Week 6

After a week in which Trent Green, Matt Leinart, and Jake Delhomme all likely saw their season end, it occurred to me that we never mention the likes of premier quarterbacks such as Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, and Brett Favre in conversations like these. It raised the following question for me: Have these guys managed to become great quarterbacks because they've luckily dodged injuries, or is their ability to dodge injuries part of their brilliant talent? Those three quarterbacks haven't missed a game due to injury since they assumed their starting roles and it's foolish to think that their perfect attendance record is a fluke.

The block that led to Green's concussion last week has been alternately described as gutsy, reckless, or cheap. When was the last time you heard either of those last two words used in conjunction with Manning, Brady, or Favre? The big three just don't make stupid plays that cause them to expose themselves in precarious positions. They're exceptionally smart about where they throw the ball, so it should come as not surprise that they're exceptionally smart about where they put their bodies.

Then again, these QB's might want to profusively thank their offensive lines for their good health. Unlike Donovan McNabb, who tastes grass frequently enough to be an honorary member of the Indigo Girls, it is a rare occurrence indeed when any of the big three gets sacked. If a quarterback doesn't even get touched, how can he get hurt?

I'm not particularly well-versed in the technical aspects of football, so I only make note of this phenomenon without trying to explain it. All I can say is that the correlation between quarterback health and quarterback performance seems like it's no accident. I'm just glad to have one of those guys on my team.

Author's note: When I found the above photograph for this article, I wanted to entitle it "Trent Green injured." However, a quick check of my photo folder yielded the finding that I already used that title for a photo in last year's Playing The Spread. Case in point.

The following selections are for entertainment purposes only and should not be used as the basis for any actual cash wagers. If you disregarded my warning last week, aren't you sorry!

Last week's disaster: 3-11
Season To Date: 33-37-6
Best Bets: 2-3
Eliminator: 4-1 (Streak: W 1)
The Monkey: 3-2

Patriots (-5.5) over Cowboys
After Tony Romo's five-interception performance last week, Asante Samuel must be licking his lips. Or maybe he's just excited to try some of T.O.'s popcorn. WIN

Bucs (-3) over Titans
For selection purposes, I've learned to disregard the result of any previous week's game played at the RCA Dome as an aberration for the visiting team. TIE

Bears (-5) over Vikings
Looks like we wrote the Bears off for dead a little too soon. But when the media's calling for Kyle Orton to be given a chance as your starter, you'd do the same thing. LOSS

Jaguars (-6.5) over Texans
If Travis Johnson is so set on taunting a player while standing over his defeated, unconscious body, I'd like to suggest he take a ride up to Yankee Stadium. WIN

Browns (-4.5) over Dolphins
Cleo Lemon is the NFL player with the wimpiest-sounding name this side of Ashley Lelie. WIN

Rams (+9.5) over Ravens
The Rams might not have a single wide receiver this Sunday, but against a Ravens team that scored but three field goals last week, the Rams could cover the spread even if they're on the wrong end of a shutout. LOSS

Redskins (+3) over Packers
I could issue a pronouncement that Brett Favre is actually mortal, but if you're willing to look back about ten months, you'll see that my revelation is nothing new. TIE

Bengals (-3) over Chiefs
If you had Week 5 in your 2007 Bengals arrest pool, you win. I think I know the ideal team for Ricky Williams should he be reinstated. LOSS

Eagles (-3) over Jets
One week after a career game, Donovan McNabb was sacked 12 times. Looks like it's time for him to play the race card again. WIN

Panthers (+4) over Cardinals
Carolina has a tough decision to make about who will start this week: a washed-up quarterback who's taken plenty of licks and whose best days are behind him, or Vinny Testaverde. WIN

Chargers (-9.5) over Raiders
I feel like a sleeping giant has been awakened. San Diego let out four weeks of football frustration in Denver and it seems like they're showing no signs of slowing down. WIN

Seahawks (-6.5) over Saints
In their first five games this year, Seattle scored 20, 20, 24, 23, and 0 points. If ever there was an argument for regression to the mean, this is it. LOSS

Giants (-3.5) over Falcons
If she manages to stop crying about Joe Torre's not-so-imminent departure by Monday night, at least WCBS's Suzyn Waldman can take pleasure in the Giants' inevitable steamrolling of the hapless Falcons. WIN

BEST BET: Browns (-4.5) over Dolphins WIN
ELIMINATOR: San Diego Chargers WIN

THE MONKEY: Packers (-3) over Redskins TIE