Referee Schadenfreude

I have been a licensed soccer referee since 1994. I've done youth games for kids through the age of nineteen, high school games, and lately, even adult recreational games. In my 13-year career, I have handed out four red cards. In ninety minutes on Sunday, Russian referee Valentin Ivanov equalled my career total, sending off two players each from the Portugal and Netherlands sides.

Ivanov completely lost control of this game. I do believe that referees in this World Cup have been overzealous in their use of the yellow cards. If referees hand out yellow cards for minor offenses early in the games, players figure out that if they're going to get yellow-carded anyway, they might as well make their fouls count. And once the violent tackles and cheap shots mount, tempers flare to the point that subsequent yellow and red cards can no longer keep the game under control. The secret is preventive officiating -- exerting your authority early in the game and maintaining constant communication with the players. But I believe that preventive officiating is difficult with the language barriers that result from multi-national referee crews and squads from different countries. Red and yellow cards are universally understood, but not much else is. Additionally, the nature of the sport provides that in soccer, unlike in American football or ice hockey, there is only one official who has the sole power to make calls. The assistant referees are there for advisory purposes only. As a result, if the ref loses it, the slippery slope carries the game quickly into chaos, as there is nobody else who can step in an reassert themselves over the game.

I do empathize with a fellow official who loses control of a game. We all have those bad days where the players just aren't behaving themselves and even the cards become futile in an attempt to keeps things under control. But if someone else goes in over their head, I want to see them crash and burn. I want to see yellow cards for the most trifiling offenses. I want to see dirty cleats-up slide tackles from behind. I want to see players kicking goalkeepers in the face well after they have the ball under control. I want to see defenders deliver cheap shots to strikers once their backs are turned. I want to see the sides play nine-on-seven after six red cards have been handed out. And I want to see the referee blamed and lambasted for the carnage by the world media. Why? Because it's not me. I like to think I'm a pretty good ref, but there are days when I blow it. However, even when I blow it, at least I'm not Valentin Ivanov self-destructing in front of a live worldwide audience. And that makes me feel good.

(And, for the record, Dutch player Jan Johannes Vennegor of Hesselink has the coolest name I've come across in quite some time, even though it surely gives fits to uniform makers.)