Thursday, January 18, 2007

Playing The Spread, Conference Championships

Enjoy the last weekend of real football. What do I mean by the last weekend of real football, seeing as how the Super Bowl is two weeks off? Well, the Super Bowl isn't real football (unless, of course, the Patriots are playing, which I'm hoping will be the case this year). The Super Bowl is played on a sterile, neutral field, chosen to minimize any chances of bad January weather. It is a star-studded affair, replete with pageantry. There is a pre-game extravaganza, an over-the-top (but no longer chest-baring) halftime show, and the only television commercials consistently worth watching all year. People watch the Super Bowl not because it's a football game, but because it's an event.

By contrast, the conference championships are a much more organic event. For starters, nobody knows where they will be held until a week beforehand (Super Bowl sites are selected three to five years in advance). We've seen snow in New England, rain in Seattle, and freezing cold in Green Bay. No domed stadium or warm-weather climate is necessary to host a conference championship. I do seem to recall some sort of rudimentary halftime show for these games, but for the life of me, I'm just not sure. That should tell you something. But I can rattle off a list of the last five or so Super Bowl halftime shows (counting this year, Prince, The Rolling Stones, Paul McCartney, Janet Jackson's right breast, U2).

It's always a letdown when conference championship Sunday approaches. For the last two weeks, we have enjoyed four nationally-televised games between elite teams. This weekend, we're down to just two games. And we know in the back of our minds that next weekend, there won't be any football played at all. Enjoy it while you can.

The following picks are for entertainment purposes only and should not be used as the basis for any actual cash wagers.

Last week: 2-2
Season to date: 132-125-7
Final best bets: 9-10

Patriots (+3) over Colts
I feel like we've seen this movie before. All-World quarterback has yet to win the big game. He faces this hotshot kid with three championships already under his belt in only a six-year career. Mentoring the young hotshot is the brilliant but disheveled sensei. Same story, same result? Let's hope so. You people in Indianapolis might want to practice the Heimlich maneuver. I have a feeling you might need it around 10 p.m. Sunday night. LOSS

Bears (-3) over Saints
Oh yeah, there's another game to be played on Sunday. While everybody in America outside of Illinois is probably pulling for the Saints (this year's feel-good story), I think that the Bourbon Street magic has run out. Chicago has just a little bit more veteran experience, which should tip the scales in their favor. Imagine what they could do if they had a quarterback that the coaching staff actually trusted. WIN

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