Playing The Spread 2K7, Week 12

Controversy ensued at the end the Browns-Ravens game last week. In case you've been living under a rock, Phil Dawson's game-tying field goal attempt at the end of regulation bounced off the upright, then off the support bar behind the crossbar, then back out onto the field of play. While initially ruled no good, discussions among the officials led Pete Morelli to reverse the call and send the game to overtime. The Ravens had retreated to the locker room where some of the players were already undressing and preparing to shower. They were none too pleased when they were ordered back onto the field. With such a miraculous momentum-shifting development, a Browns victory in OT was a foregone conclusion.

I think that we all agree that field goals should be added to the list of reviewable plays for next season. But I commend the officials for getting the call right, even if it took a while. NFL teams play sixteen games, so each individual game is far more important for playoff purposes than individual games in any of the other major team sports. Some fans decry what they feel is an overly juridical approach to calling the game, claiming that it slows things down and removes the fallible but character-rich human element. I disagree, believing that technology and careful deliberation are valuable tools to resolve contested calls in today's NFL, which is undoubtedly a high-stakes business with major financial implications involved in each win or loss.

Up until recently, MLB umpires were reluctant to overrule one another, considering reversing a colleague's call to be an invasion of his turf. The Jeffrey Maier home run in 1996 was seen differently by the five other umpires, yet it was Richie Garcia's call that stood. (Game 6 of the 2004 ALCS -- the one where A-Rod slapped the ball out of Bronson Arroyo's hand to prevent being tagged -- was the first time I saw MLB umps willing to get together to discuss how a play appeared from their various vantage points.)

The NFL is different. Any typical game sees the zebras huddle up and confer several times. It is not uncommon for a flag that was thrown to be picked up and for the referee to announce that there is no foul on the play. While extreme cases happen (e.g. the 2000 Dolphins-Patriots game where the teams were ordered back onto the field half an hour after the supposed end of the game, since the game-ending fumble should have been ruled an incomplete pass and three seconds should have been left on the clock), officials' conferences do not add any appreciable amount of time to games. Besides, what else are you doing on Sunday afternoons anyway? Take the time to talk things over and get the call right.

(Maybe another day we'll discuss whether officials should be allowed to use unofficial replays on the stadium jumbotron as the basis for their reconsideration....)

The following picks are for entertainment purposes only and should not be the basis for any actual cash wagers or methods for deciding who gets to eat the drumstick.

Last Week: 7-7-2
Season To Date: 75-74-11
Best Bets: 6-5
Eliminator: 9-2 (Streak: W 3)
The Monkey: 5-4-2

Packers (-3.5) over Lions
One of our great American traditions is turning on the television at 12:30 on Thanksgiving afternoon and seeing the Detroit Lions suck. Up until two weeks ago, it looked like that tradition might be in jeopardy. To the relief of the football-loving populace, the Lions are finally screwing games up as usual. All is right with the world once again. WIN

Jets (+14) over Cowboys
The Cowboys have had some trouble putting mediocre teams away this year (see, e.g. Buffalo Bills, Washington Redskins, Minnesota Vikings). The operative question this week is whether replacing Chad Pennington is enough to catapult the Jets into the mediocre category from Dolphins-land. LOSS

Falcons (+11.5) over Colts
Michael Vick surrendered to authorities three weeks before his sentencing hearing was to take place. Sources tell me that Vick considered federal prison to be a more palatable alternative to watching Byron Leftwich run the Falcons into the ground. LOSS

Jaguars (-8) over Bills
I can pretty much guarantee that the Jags won't hang the same 56-spot on the Bills this week that the Pats did last week. I can't guarantee that the Bills won't be similarly overmatched. WIN

Browns (-3.5) over Texans
For the first time in decades, a spectacular, once-in-a-lifetime stroke of good fortune went the Browns' way. Earnest Byner can finally breathe a sigh of relief. WIN

Chiefs (-5.5) over Raiders
Priest Holmes decided to call it a career this week. Raiders fans are praying that Daunte Culpepper decides to do the same the thing before Sunday. LOSS

Seahawks (-3) over Rams
Who would you rather have on your team: Deion Branch, or Randy Moss, Wes Welker, and Donte Stallworth? Yeah, Bill Belichick agrees. WIN

Giants (-7) over Vikings
Thanksgiving at the Manning household: Eli asks Peyton to pass the cranberry sauce. Peyton grabs the bowl and tries to reach across the table to hand it over to Eli. However, Peyton doesn't see Archie coming in from the other direction with a piping hot platter of mashed potatoes. Peyton knocks Archie's arm, causing Archie to spill the potatoes onto Peyton's lap. In a failed attempt to get out of the way in time, Peyton ends up falling out of his chair and the cranberry sauce goes flying into the air. All of a sudden, Antonio Cromartie comes out of nowhere and snatches the bowl just before it hits the ground, returning it all the way back to the kitchen. Peyton accuses Eli and Archie of ruining the holiday, then leaves the dinner table in a huff and spends the rest of the evening sitting in the living room, sulking and refusing to talk to anyone. LOSS

Redskins (+3) over Bucs
Now that the NASCAR season is over, Joe Gibbs can concentrate his full attention on coaching his football team. Actually, the Skins' offensive line could probably use an assist from the likes of Tony Stewart these days. LOSS

Saints (-3) over Panthers
Jake Delhomme, David Carr, Vinny Testaverde, Matt Moore. For the life of me, I can't keep track of who's playing QB for the Panthers week after week. WIN

Titans (-1.5) over Bengals
Vince Young has his best passing game all season, yet the Titans lose by two TD's to the inconsistent-at-best Broncos. Shows you how important he really is to that team. LOSS

Cardinals (-10.5) over 49ers
Note: what you just read is not a typo. The Cardinals are actual double-digit favorites for what seems like the first time since they left Chicago. LOSS

Ravens (+9.5) over Chargers
Brian Billick has petitioned the NFL to install Arena-style rebound nets on the goalposts. If the Ravens are getting screwed on field goal attempts that bounce back anyway, the least the NFL can do is give them a chance to return the ball. LOSS

Broncos (+2) over Bears
On this holiday, Rex Grossman is thankful for being given more second chances than Willie Horton. LOSS

Patriots (-22) over Eagles
Since winning games by 30-point margins has become such a routine matter for the Patriots, Bill Belichick is now motivating his team by challenging them to fulfill certain objectives during each game. This week, the team will consider it a victory if they can get Donovan McNabb to throw up in the huddle again. LOSS

Dolphins (+16) over Steelers
Former Dolphins coach Nick Saban compared Alabama's upset loss to Louisiana-Monroe last weekend with 9/11 and Pearl Harbor. By Saban's standards, the Dolphins' winless season is some unfortunate combination of the Holocaust, the Black Plague, the Darfur massacres, and the Apocalypse. WIN

BEST BET: Seahawks (-3) over Rams WIN
ELIMINATOR: Kansas City Chiefs LOSS

THE MONKEY: Panthers (+3) over Saints LOSS