Top Five Worst Origin/Destination Airports (Domestic Edition)

1. Atlanta-Hartsfield
The MARTA offers a one-seat ride from downtown to the airport. The benefits of departing ATL end there. Once at the airport, you need to negotiate the horribly congested central security checkpoints, take the underground train to one of six parallel linear concourses, make your way above ground, and walk to your gate, which can be quite some distance if it's on either end of the concourse. There are no moving sidewalks within the concourses. But what puts ATL atop this list is the asinine procedure for international arrivals: After waiting for your bag and clearing customs, you must recheck your bag and clear security (including full shoe removal and liquid confiscation), even if you're not connecting to another flight. Then, you take the train to the main terminal and wait at the baggage claim for your luggage a second time.

2. New York-LaGuardia
The cramped plot of land that LaGuardia occupies makes you wonder how a major airport even functions in such a small area. Indeed, it barely functions, with takeoff queues a good 20 or 30 aircraft deep at peak times for one of two runways. On your way to the airport, you must figure out which cramped, undersized terminal houses your airline, which is a task made more complicated by the fact that certain airlines (i.e. Delta) depart from different locations depending on your destination. LaGuardia is relatively close to Manhattan, but there is no good public transit connection to the airport. You are left either taking a bus (and good luck finding guidance regarding which bus to take) or a lengthy taxi ride. As anyone who has been to New York knows, a short distance does not ensure a quick ride.

3. Las Vegas-McCarran
Ninety percent of the time, McCarran is satisfactorily efficient. But when it comes to peak travel periods (Friday evening arrivals, Sunday afternoon departures, and anytime immediately before or after a major convention), all hell breaks lose. The ticket counter area is too small to handle peak crowds, so lines routinely stretch out onto the sidewalk. The security checkpoints for the C and D gates are on a balcony cantilevered over the baggage claim. While airport authority has upgraded the area, it remains too small for peak crowds. Departing out of the D Gates (basically any domestic airline besides US Airways and Southwest) requires a train ride to a remote terminal. While waiting for your flight, you can make use of slot machines that have the worst odds in Vegas or purchase the most overpriced food at any airport in the country. Arriving at McCarran, assuming you survive the potentially intolerable wait for your bags, you are faced with what can be an hour-long wait in the taxi queue at peak times.

4. Washington-Dulles
Dulles is horrible for origin/destination traffic for all the same reasons that it sucks as a connecting airport, plus the fact that it has no connection to DC's otherwise comprehensive Metro rail system. Consolidated, central security checkpoints make for long waits in the mornings and late afternoons. Up until recently, they didn't even have special lanes for frequent fliers and first class passengers. Getting from the security area to your gate requires waiting for a mobile lounge, which is a glorious bus, to depart according to a fixed schedule (i.e. not yours). The food and entertainment offerings in the gate area are also lacking for an airport this size. If you're arriving from Latin America, you better hope your plane doesn't arrive early, since the customs officers are scheduled to show up at 7:00 a.m. and not a moment before.

5. Miami
Miami is the only airport I've visited in the 50 states where public address announcements are made first in Spanish, and only then (if at all) in English. You feel like a foreigner in your own country. Latin American flights arrive in the early morning hours, overwhelming the customs processing areas. Since most of the non-American passengers require visas, the process is predictably slower than at airport handling mainly trans-Atlantic international traffic. Security checkpoints are in cramped quarters atop escalators, requiring passengers to wait in line before being allowed to go upstairs and wait in line. (To its credit, I have reason to believe that since my last visit to MIA, the airport has engaged in renovations that will alleviate these bottlenecks.) If you're driving to the airport (and there's really no other effective way to get there), you're stuck on one of two oft-crowded expressways.