The fact that Britney Spears and Paris Hilton have been repeatedly seen hanging out together is somehow important news. While I hate to dignify this "story" with any more attention than it deserves (which means any attention whatsoever), I got to thinking about why the two of them want to spend time together. Here are my top ten reasons:10. Britney was under the mistaken impression that Paris could teach her something about class
9. Now that virtually every man in Hollywood has been used up, Paris needed to get creative to find her latest flavor of the week
8. They finally put behind themselves the feud over whether House of Wax or Crossroads was the better movie
7. They just hit it off after Sean Preston's playdate with Tinkerbell
6. After Nicole Ritchie went anorexic, Paris wanted to find a new companion for whom rapid weight loss would never be an issue
5. Britney desperately wanted another child to take care of, but didn't want to go through the hassle of being pregnant again
4. Grey Goose, meet Jack Daniels!
3. Paris has taken a year-long vow of celibacy, and by the Bill Clinton rules, anything she does with Britney wouldn't count
2. After ditching K-Fed, Britney needed to find someone with an equal lack of musical talent
1. All they need now to complete the holy trinity of celebrity sex tapes is Pamela Anderson, and she's newly single
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