Sorting Through The B(C)S

Now, I'm not much of a college football fan, but I do follow it, particularly around this time of year when everybody has an opinion on how the extremely subjective and error-ridden process of assigning teams to major bowl games will work out. Since everyone else is an expert, I'll chime in with my two cents.

Putting together the BCS is like assembling a puzzle, since you must work within the confines of various rules:
• The champions of the six major conference qualify automatically
• The champion of a minor conference qualifies automatically if it is in the top 12 of the BCS standings
• An independent team (read Notre Dame) qualifies automatically if it is in the top eight of the BCS standings
• A major conference team that does not win its conference qualifies automatically if it is in the top four of the BCS standings, availability permitted
• Other at-large teams can qualify if they are among the top 14 of the BCS standings and have at least nine wins
• Champions of certain conferences are tied to certain bowl games, provided they don't make the national championship game (Big 10 and Pac-10 with the Rose Bowl, SEC with the Sugar Bowl, ACC with the Orange Bowl, Big XII with the Fiesta Bowl)
• The order of choosing at-large teams is as follows this year: Any bowl losing teams to the national championship, then Sugar, Orange, and Fiesta

TOSTITOS BCS NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME
Ideal world: Ohio State (Big Ten) vs. Southern California (Pac-10)
Real world: Ohio State (Big Ten) vs. Southern California (Pac-10)
Ohio State is a given. Nobody would dispute that the nation's lone undefeated major conference team deserves to play for the national championship. USC is the most worthy challenger. Some would say that Michigan is the next best team in the country. Maybe they are and maybe they aren't, but the fact of the matter is that Michigan already lost to Ohio State, and unless there's a lack of other legitimate competition, the quasi-playoff nature of the college football regular season dictates that Michigan doesn't get a rematch.

ROSE BOWL GAME, PRESENTED BY CITI
Ideal world: Michigan vs. Florida
Real world: Michigan vs. LSU
The Rose Bowl should lose both its teams to the national championship, meaning they can create a handpicked showdown. Seeking to maintain at least part of the traditional rivalry, Michigan, which will qualify for the BCS anyway, is a natural fit. No Pac-10 teams are likely to qualify, so the Rose Bowl will need to look elsewhere. For some dubious reason, the number of fans and the television ratings a school brings in trumps their on-field performance, so Notre Dame is likely to earn the nod as an at-large team, even at a weak 10-2. I trust the Rose Bowl to avoid scheduling a rematch of the Michigan-Notre Dame blowout, so they'll likely turn to the second-best team of the ultra-competitive SEC. In my ideal world, it'll be Florida, but most likely, it will end up being LSU, after Arkansas suffers its third loss in the SEC Championship.

ALLSTATE SUGAR BOWL
Ideal world: Arkansas vs. Louisville
Real world: Florida vs. Notre Dame
I'd love to see Arkansas beat out Florida for the SEC title, largely because I hate every college football team from the state of Florida. I'd also love to see Rutgers beat West Virginia on Saturday, giving them the Big East crown by virtue of a head-to-head tiebreaker against Louisville. Nonetheless, at 11-1, Louisville has earned a spot in the BCS. The ironic part is that since the Big East champ is thrown into the at-large pool rather than tied to a specific bowl, at-large Louisville would be seen as a larger draw than the State University of New Jersey. Real world, Florida crushes Arkansas to win the SEC and the Sugar Bowl drools at the fact Notre Dame is still available, despite the fact that the highly-overrated Irish would likely suffer another blowout loss.

FEDEX ORANGE BOWL
Ideal world: Wake Forest vs. Rutgers
Real world: Georgia Tech vs. Louisville
I'd love to see the all-Cinderella Orange Bowl between two perennial also-rans from the world of college football. For it to happen, we'd need to have upset wins in both the ACC Championship and the Big East finale. I can't see it happening. But even so, a matchup between the favorites to win those two conferences would still feature two teams not used to the spotlight.

TOSTITOS FIESTA BOWL
Ideal world: Oklahoma vs. Boise State
Real world: Oklahoma vs. Boise State
Thanks to the bone thrown by the BCS to the minor conference, Boise State will finally escape their home blue turf of the MPC Computers Bowl in order to compete in the BCS. Guaranteed a berth somewhere, but being a horrible draw, they will drop to the end of the line for selection. Their opponent is the Big XII champion, and nobody rationally expects Nebraska to pull the upset over Oklahoma. The only downside to this game is the renewal of Oklahoma's whining that had they not gotten burned by the horrible officiating in the Oregon game, they'd be in the running not for the Fiesta Bowl but for that other game to be played in Arizona a week later.