Playing The Spread 2K7, Week 14

Loyal readers of this column know how I am a decided proponent of the instant replay system. With only sixteen games in a season, every single call has the potential to decide a team's season. However, the system is not quite perfect.

The largest gripe I have is that outside of the two minute warning, coaches have the responsibility to challenge calls on their own. The guy sitting up in the replay booth can hang out and eat overpriced hot dogs for 56 minutes and watch the game each Sunday, all on the NFL's dime, before he actually has to do something. I understand how coaches would sometimes want to insist that the officials take another look at a crucial call, but coaches have 45 players to look after already. They don't need to supervise seven officials as well.

The idea of limiting the number of challenges and assessing a time out for challenges that are upheld makes sense as a measure to keep games from getting out of hand, but I don't see quite what time outs have to do with challenges. In other words, why should a team be barred from challenging a play, even if they have a challenge remaining, just because they had already spent time outs in strategically appropriate situations earlier in the half? Forcing a team to keep a time out in reserve just in case they need to overturn a clearly erroneous call by an official seems to be a forced misplacement of priorities. I propose that if a team is out of time outs, the officials should still allow rightful challenges subject to the caveat that if unsuccessful, the team should be punished with a five-yard (or ten-yard) penalty.

Both of these problems would be solved by adopting the NCAA model. In the NCAA, while coaches have a certain number of challenges, a replay official can initiate a review, sua sponte, at any time. It is true that college football replays are conducted in the booth and that the referee need not duck under the hood to watch the play himself, which ostensibly speeds things up, but in the NFL, it is more important to get the calls right rather than make them quickly. Besides, replay officials will probably initiate reviews on plays that coaches would have challenged anyway. And if replay officials can call for challenges themselves, teams without timeouts (or challenges) remaining would no longer be helpless.

Further, the challenge system breeds this ridiculous ritual where offensive teams that benefit from a questionable call rush up to the line and try to snap the ball before the challenge flag comes flying. One astute commentator pointed out that a mad dash to snap the ball is an indication in and of itself that you should be throwing the flag. However, unless we want to engage in perverse exercises of revisionist history by winding back the clock two minutes to reverse a call on the previous drive, the one-play statute of limitations on replay is a necessary evil.

The following picks are for entertainment purposes only and should not be the basis for actual cash wagers.

Last Week: 7-9
Season To Date: 88-93-11
Best Bets: 8-5
Eliminator: 10-3 (Streak: W 1)
The Monkey: 6-5-2

Redskins (-3) over Bears
After last week's ill-fated illegal time out call, Joe Gibbs got a call from Chris Webber assuring him that everything would work out just fine. WIN

Bills (-7) over Dolphins
While Nick Buoniconti and company need to keep the champagne corks unpopped for at least another week, the 1976 Buccaneers are anxiously awaiting their opportunity to open up their bottles of Colt 45 once (if?) the Dolphins finally win a game. WIN

Rams (+6) over Bengals
The Rams are 3-1 since their bye week and are currently petitioning the NFL to retroactively extend the preseason from four to twelve games. LOSS

Jaguars (-10.5) over Panthers
David Garrard is unquestionably the most underrated quarterback in the league. Meanwhile, Vinny Testaverde is counting down the games until he can take out social security. WIN

Cowboys (-10.5) over Lions
Usually the Lions don't even bother waiting until November to go into their annual nose dive. Which raises the question once again: how is Matt Millen still employed? LOSS

Bucs (-3) over Texans
Luke McCown might be just as good at rallying the team to an exciting victory, but Jeff Garcia still has the hotter wife. LOSS

Raiders (+10) over Packers
Packers fans have seen the post-Favre future, and it ain't pretty. Here's hoping the NFL's ironman takes whatever pain-killers he needs (and even some that he doesn't) in order to play in Sunday's game. LOSS

Chargers (E) over Titans
Tennessee is a team I really respect and every time they take the field, I hope they win. Too bad it takes more than my individual hope to overcome flat play. WIN

Giants (+3) over Eagles
Donovan McNabb wants to return to the field from injury this week. He wants to go head-to-head with Eli Manning to see who can choke up this game worse. WIN

Vikings (-9) over 49ers
At the end of September (i.e. before the Lions started playing like the Lions), we all figured that two teams from the NFC North would make the playoffs. We just didn't think it would be the Vikings. WIN

Seahawks (-7) over Cardinals
If the NFL were a English soccer-style league with promotion and relegation at the end of each season, then the Arizona Cardinals would be Tottenham Hotspur -- while they come up with enough wins each year to stave off demotion, they're never really in contention for the top prize. WIN

Chiefs (+6.5) over Broncos
Once again, I have proven myself completely inept at picking any game involving the Broncos. So, I've decided to just guess. LOSS

Browns (-3) over Jets
The Jets might want to send Isiah Thomas and the Knicks a special thank-you present this Christmas season, since without the Knicks, the Jets would be the biggest sports laughing-stock in New York City. WIN

Steelers (+10.5) over Patriots
You know your team is truly charmed when they get six downs to make a conversion where all other teams only get four. LOSS

Colts (-9) over Ravens
Baltimore fans are planning to take revenge on the Colts franchise for what happened in 1984 by blockading the stadium after Sunday night's game and preventing the Colts from skipping town yet again. WIN

Saints (-4) over Falcons
After that 3-0 Pittsburgh game and that 24-0 walkover by the Seahawks over the 49ers and then this snoozer, ESPN should be barging down the door of the NFL offices demanding a renegotiation of their contract. WIN

BEST BET: Giants (+3) over Eagles WIN
ELIMINATOR: Buffalo Bills WIN

THE MONKEY: Vikings (-9) over 49ers WIN