Today is National Coming Out Day. I commend all my gay and lesbian brethren who have chosen this day to make the grand public announcement that they are, indeed, homosexual. I have the utmost respect for your courage.
But why must this wondeful occasion be limited to gays? Why can't straight people come out as well? And so, as a nod to equality, I'd like to publicly declare that as of today, I am a proud out-of-the-closet heterosexual. Watch out ladies, because I am on the prowl! Raaaaaaaaar!
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