Yankees Suck!

As the old expression goes, my two favorite teams are the Red Sox and whoever's playing the Yankees. Sadly, the Sox were knocked out of serious playoff contention a good month before the end of the season, so my only hope for a gratifying postseason would be to witness the Yanks undergo yet another of their epic October chokes. Boy, was I satisfied.


The Yanks spent $200 million on payroll this year, and what did it get them? Three straight losses to the Detroit Tigers -- the Detroit Tigers! -- a team that, three years ago, almost set the modern major league record for worst season ever. Alex Rodriguez, the 252-million-dollar man, got all of one hit in the four games. About the only thing clutch about A-Rod (or, as I prefer to call him, A-hole) are the opposing teams' hands around his neck. Of course, the rest of Yanks' offense wasn't any better. The best team money can buy couldn't buy themselves a run for a span of 20 consecutive innings. Beyond some guy from Taiwan that nobody had heard of a year ago, the Yankees' starting pitching was completely ineffective. Even Joe Torre, who has been largely spared George Steinbrenner's anti-managerial rage thusfar in his career, appears to be on the chopping block (to be replaced by Sweet Lou Pinella, a man that The Boss had fired back in 1988).

Frankly, at this point, I don't really care who wins the World Series. I hope it's not the Mets, but then again, having their crosstown rivals win the championship would piss the Yankees fans off even more. The best part is that, for another whole year, we can chant "Two-oo-thou-sand!" when the Bronx Bombers come to Fenway Park.