I Love Health Insurance

You always hear the news reports about the evil health insurance companies who deny claims for unnecessarily expensive or experimental procedures and who require their clients to jump through all sort of bureaucratic hoops to get the payments they rightfully deserve. Maybe that's why I was so thrilled when the system actually worked.

Back in August, when I was on my hiking tour of the Great American West, you might recall that I slipped and fell in a cave in Idaho, sustaining a nasty gash and bruise on my left knee. Being the machissimo-filled doctor-phobe that I am, I attempted to clean the wound and bandage it myself with a first aid kit, while icing down my knee, rather than seeking medical attention. However, six hours later, the cut still wouldn't stop bleeding. At that point, my fear of permanent bodily injury overcame my fear of medical attention, and I directed my travel companion to stop at the nearest hospital, not knowing whether I had to select a certain hospital from a list of preferred providers or even if my Blue Cross Blue Shield of Massachusetts policy would cover me in Utah.

Long story short, I was patched up and sent on my way in less than an hour (most professional and efficient ER operation I have ever heard of). The staff took a photocopy of my insurance card, and when I asked upon discharge whether I needed to make a payment at that time, they said they'd bill me. It sounded like they needed to file a claim with my insurance company, which could be a recipe for disaster, considering that every other medical appointment I've attended had been able to settle with the insurance company on the spot and collect only a co-pay. Two weeks later, I received a painstakingly-itemized bill with a notation that it had been submitted to my insurance company, and if not paid by them in 45 days, I would be responsible for the whole thing. Then, after another two weeks and without any further action whatsoever on my part, another letter arrived, telling me that the insurance company had paid the claim and all I owed was the $50 co-pay, which would be discounted by 10% if received within 30 days.

Maybe I shouldn't be so impressed that the insurance worked exactly as it was supposed to, but the injury was enough of an ordeal, so I'm glad things weren't any more complicated than they needed to be.

Playing The Spread, Week 4

I am not a particularly huge fan of stadium naming rights. I believe that a stadium name auctioned off to the highest bidder detracts from the identity and therefore the home-field advantage that a stadium can offer. At the same time, however, I recognize the economic reality of such deals, particularly when you consider it's a great way for teams to earn money that is not subject to revenue sharing agreements.

What I humbly request is that the names teams choose for their stadiums don't sound too corporate. A stadium name that sounds like a person's name, even though it's actually an investment company, is acceptable (Edward Jones Dome, Raymond James Stadium). A stadium named after a business that is so central to a city's identity is also acceptable (Heinz Field, Reliant Stadium, Ford Field). However, stadium names that end in -co or -com are not acceptable (Invesco Field, Qualcomm Stadium), nor are stadium names that include the word "Bank" (M&T Bank Stadium, Bank of America Stadium), nor are stadium names that are made up of initials (LP Field, RCA Dome), nor are stadium names that are goofy words that might or might not be acronyms (Qwest Field, Alltel Stadium).


The Arizona Cardinals' new stadium's name is particularly wacky. The newly-christened University of Phoenix Stadium sounds like it's a college football field on the campus of the University of Phoenix. However, the University of Phoenix is a for-profit institution with a national presence that provides adult career-based education and specializes in distance learning. It fields no intercollegiate sports teams. So, while the new stadium name sounds perfectly rational, it's actually rather bizarre when you think about the backstory.

The following picks are for entertainment purposes and should not the basis of any actual cash wagers.

Last week: 7-5-2
Season to date: 25-19-2
Best bets: 1-2
Eliminator: 3-0

Bengals (-6) over Patriots
Yep, never though I'd see the day when I pick the favored Bengals to defeat the Pats. Sunday night's performance by the Pats was not particularly encouraging. Never thought I'd see the day either when Bill Belichick would talk trash to Chad Johnson. Guess there's a first time for everything. LOSS (happy to have lost this game)

Falcons (-7) over Cardinals
Last week's Arizona-St. Louis comedy of errors was a contest to see who wanted to win the game the least. WIN

Saints (+7) over Panthers
Carolina needed a last-second field goal to beat a winless Bucs team that had to play its second-string QB. New Orleans destroyed a Falcons team that was considered among the best in the NFC. And you're telling me the Panthers are favored by a full TD? WIN

Vikings (+1) over Bills
Maybe I didn't give the Vikes enough credit at the beginning of the year. They've been very competitive in all three of their games thusfar. LOSS

Ravens (+2.5) over Chargers
Chargers safety Terrence Kiel was arrested at team headquarters after trying to ship two boxes of prescription cough syrup to Texas. Sources tell me the packages were addressed to T.O. WIN

Texans (+3.5) over Dolphins
David Carr has the highest QB rating in the NFL right now, which makes sense when you realize that sacks don't figure into the calculation. I see the Texans, at home, finally scratching out a win, against a Dolphins team that has struggled to put points on the board. WIN

Cowboys (+9) over Titans
I have 25 million reasons why Terrell Owens should shut up, stop being a distraction, and just play football. I also have 25 million reasons why Terrell Owens should fire his publicist immediately. With or without T.O., the Cowboys will roll. WIN

49ers (+7) over Chiefs
You heard it here first: Alex Smith has a breakout game, throwing for over 300 yards and at least two touchdowns. He has yet to throw an interception this season, and it won't happen Sunday. LOSS

Jets (+9) over Colts
In order to give the Jets a chance in this game, Indy is benching Peyton Manning in favor of some guy that looks like Bronson Pinchot from a cell phone commercial. WIN

Rams (-5.5) over Lions
I remain concerned that the Rams will be able to score enough points to even make the spread, but even if they do decide to reenact the Miracle at the Meadowlands for the second week in a row, Detroit is the other team besides Arizona that is inept enough to be unable to capitalize on such a gift. WIN

Jaguars (-3) over Redskins
Beating the Texans last week is nothing for the Redskins to hang their hats on. LOSS

Raiders (+3) over Browns
T.O.'s latest antics have caused the public to completely forget that fellow malcontent wide receiver Randy Moss exists. Or maybe it's just the fact that Moss has been borderline invisible on the field this season. TIE

Seahawks (+3) over Bears
You saw the Seahawks' fully-loaded passing game on prime display this past Sunday. In fact, I think their passing game is so good that the loss of Shawn Alexander to the Madden Curse will be no big deal. LOSS

Eagles (-11) over Packers
Brett Favre came back to life last week, but I still believe that the Eagles have the most underrated offensive weapons in the league. WIN

BEST BET: Jaguars (-3) over Redskins LOSS
ELIMINATOR: Dallas Cowboys WIN

Happy Birthday To Me!

For the first 4.57 billion years of its existence, the earth was a pretty good place -- not great, but pretty good. Then, at 3:24 p.m. on this day 26 years ago, the planet earth suddenly and irrevokably changed for the better. At that exact date and time, I was born, ushering in a new era of economic prosperity and technological achievement and a cultural Renaissance. So, in celebration of such a momentous occasion, I encourage each and every one of you to seek me out today, buy me a drink, shake my hand (or, if you're female, give me a big hug and a kiss), and thank me for having being born. I'm thrilled that my mere existence has enriched your lives so much. You're quite welcome.

Christy Mihos For Governor

Christy Mihos has earned my vote for governor of Massachusetts based upon the most hilarious (and, for that matter, to-the-point) campaign ad I've ever seen. Check it out here -- it's called "Heads Up."

Amazing All-Stars

It's already the best reality show on television, but this season's all-star edition of The Amazing Race is off to a great start. What is that you say? It's not an all-star edition? But I've seen all these teams before!


You have Ron & Kimberly, the overbearing boyfriend with the insecure girlfriend (Colin & Christie, Jonathan & Victoria, Lake & Michelle).

You have Tom & Terry, the over-the-top flamboyant gay guys (Oswald & Danny, Lynn & Alex).

You have Kellie & Jamie, the sweet but hapless girls (Lena & Kristy).

You have Dustin & Kandice, the dumb blondes (Megan & Heidi).

You have Duke & Lauren, the parent who struggles with his child's homosexuality (Susan & Patrick, Steve & Josh, Dennis & Andrew).

You have Lyn & Karlyn, the black mothers from the South (Monica & Sheree).

You have David & Mary, the ignorant bible-thumping rednecks (Weaver family, Cyndi & Russell).

You have Tyler & James, the silly himbo male models (Eric & Jeremy, Brian & Greg, David & Jeff).

You have Erwin & Godwin, the brothers who are very different but still very close (Ken & Gerard).

You have Peter & Sarah, the girl who is prone to meltdowns and the guy who has keep her from going off the deep end (Brandon & Nicole, Flo & Zach, Adam & Rebecca -- though Adam was the girl).

And you have a couple of random minority teams thrown in for the purposes of diversity who got eliminated by the end of the first episode (Tramel & Talicia, Black family).

Isn't typecasting wonderful?!

Top Five Teachers

I've had many teachers and professors over my 2o-plus-year educational career. While most of them were good and some of them were great, I wanted to highlight five who left lasting impressions I carry with me to this day. Here they are, from most to least recent.

1. David Barron (Property, Harvard Law School)
Every first-year law student needs one of those professors who just challenges you time and again, forcing you to take your mental abilities to a whole new level. For me, David Barron was that professor. While more casual than the traditional buttoned-down crusty old-school law instructor, Professor Barron was just as demanding. He forced you to wrap your mind around an issue and examine it every which way. Where most professors will be satisfied and move on after one answer to a question, Professor Barron won't stop until you give five or six answers. I avoided being grilled for three-quarters of a semester, but when I got it, I got it good -- 15 minutes at the end of one class (I thought I had gotten off easy), then followed by 45 at the start of the next. Our final exam was an eight-hour "take home." The lack of a word limit meant that I wrote feverishly for virtually the full eight hours, churning out 25 type-written pages -- the longest paper I've ever written.

2. Amy Remensnyder (History, Brown University)
Professor Remensnyder had an amazing way of bringing history to life. Her lectures were centered around slideshows which enabled us to see what she was talking about. While many have attempted multimedia presentations, few have mastered it. Furthermore, Professor Remensnyder harped on the need to contextualize your sources. For everything we read, we had to ask who wrote it, why he wrote it, what ulterior motives he may have had, etc. Nothing could be taken at face value. While she was not particularly cynical, everything she dealt with was treated with a healthy dose of skepticism -- an incredibly important life skill.

3. Mary Leonhardt (English, Concord-Carlisle HS)
Mrs. Leonhardt's teaching techniques involved granting students a liberal amount of choice in what they read and wrote about for out-of-class assignments. Her theory was that students would be excited about the material only if they chose to explore it themselves and not if they were told to do so. While I feel such a technique caused me to miss out on many of the so-called classics (because I thought they were lame and boring), it did allow me to experiment and hone my writing ability. In particular, I developed a whole collection of brief op-ed-style pieces. It's A Magical World is a direct result of the passion for expressing my opinion through the written word that I developed under Mrs. Leonhardt.

4. Peter Atlas (Calculus, Concord-Carlisle HS)
Mr. Atlas was an incredibly bright and funny man (not to mention very openly gay). His class, first thing in the morning, was a 52-minute stand-up routine. However, he was also a very demanding teacher, forcing students to come to terms with the difficult-to-grasp subject that was BC Calculus. On the first test I took in his class, I got a 50. A phone call home soon followed, in which Mr. Atlas told my parents about my score but explained that he was willing to do everything he could to help me improve. Failure was not an option. I soon turned the corner and brought my grades up to the A-minus level. Mr. Atlas' goal was to get us so confident with the material that we could go outside and play freeze tag on the morning of the AP exam because we wouldn't feel the need for any last-minute studying. I got the top grade of 5 on the exam and carried my confidence with calculus into college, where I was able to take (and ace) special mathematical-based economics classes.

5. Rina Scharf (Third Grade, Temple Beth El Hebrew School)
Mrs. Scharf was a strict but incredibly kind-hearted disciplinarian who presided over a classroom of a half-dozen students, teaching them how to read and write Hebrew and all about the basics of Jewish ritual. The drills were intensive and relentless. We would also learn how to sing the prayers and holiday songs. At first, I was too shy to sing, at which point she told me, "It's not Hollywood, it's just Hebrew school!" Her lessons on the laws of kashruth and halacha came across as a horrible guilt trip, resulting in her students going home and telling their parents what unsatisfactory Jews they were. We insisted that Passover foods be served to us on special plates, and we refused gifts during Hanukkah, since we were told that Hanukkah gift-giving was only instituted recently, so that Jewish children wouldn't feel marginalized during the Christmas season. To this day, though, I carry a strong knowledge of Jewish ritual (which I may or may not choose to follow, though at least I know the rules) and a great command of prayer melodies, for which I owe Mrs. Scharf a huge debt of gratitude. The songs my brother, my cousins, and I sing together at Passover seders, to this day, 20 years later, were taught to us by Mrs. Scharf.

L'Shanah Tovah!

Today is Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. We celebrate by sitting in synagogue for hours on end, praying that G-d inscribe us and our families in the Book of Life for another year. When you think about it, it's pretty heavy spiritual baggage that your fate for the next twelve months is preliminarily determined today and then officially sealed on Yom Kippur, next Monday. But many of our rituals, even when removed from the spiritual context, are quite fulfilling.

For example, on this holiday we eat apples and a special round challah, the circularity of which represents the cycle of the Jewish year and of life in general. We dip the apples and challah in honey in the hope for a sweet new year. Perhaps my favorite ritual, though, is the opportunity that Rosh Hashanah affords to make amends with those you have wronged over the past year. Furthermore, if someone approachs you seeking to make amends, you are required to forgive them. The New Year starts with a clean slate. Even if you are a complete Jewish humanist with no belief in the Almighty, following through with the non-worship-based Rosh Hashanah rituals ensures that you won't stay mad at someone for more than a year. We're a culture that relies heavily on community for support and our rituals ensure that members of that community are always able to stick together and overcome any misdeeds.

I wish all of you, Jewish or otherwise, a Shanah Tovah -- a sweet New Year. And if I have wronged any of you over the past year, please let me know so that we can set things straight.

Top Five Constitutional Amendments

Since I went hard on the Constitution two days ago, I thought that in the interest of equal time, I'd praise it today.

1. 21st Amendment (Repeal of Prohibition)
As a wise man named Homer Simpson once said in toast, "To alcohol -- the cause of and solution to all of life's problems."

2. 2nd Amendment (Right to bear arms)
Because nobody never knows when those damn British might come back.

3. 1st Amendment (Freedom of speech, religion)
It's A Magical World is made possible through the exercise of my 1st Amendment rights. I am able to sound off about whatever the heck I want on this website without fear of government reprisal. Furthermore, as a member of a religious minority who would be at best marginalized and at worst persecuted in many other countries, I can worship freely and openly with the full protection of the United States government behind me.

4. 19th Amendment (Women's suffrage)
For the reason that thanks to this amendment, Adam Carolla and Jimmy Kimmel of The Man Show were able to come up with one of the most brilliant comedy sketches of all time.

5. 20th Amendment (Presidential term limits)
Eight years of Bill Clinton were quite enough for me, thank you very much. It's too bad though that the 20th Amendment prohibitions don't extend to presidential spouses.

Playing the Spread, Week 3

Year after year, I ask the same question of the NFL: Why do teams need a bye in Week 3? I understand the NFL's logic in making sure that all teams take their bye before the last month of the season, since a week off to recover during a playoff run would be a huge competitive advantage. But why do we have to start handing out the byes in the third week of the season? Who besides Terrell Owens and perhaps the Oakland Raiders really needs a break now? And furthermore, the teams with a Week 3 bye will have to play for fourteen straight weeks. Is that really fair either?

My modest proposal is as follows: Start handing out the byes in Week 6 and conclude by Week 12. That way, everyone plays the first five weeks and everybody plays the last five weeks. Nobody has to play more than 11 straight games without a week off. The only potential complication is that the NFL will have to bite the bullet and have six teams idle during two of those weekends, instead of the traditional four. It will mean one less game for TV. (Ah, there lies the rationale.) If the NFL absolutely refuses to budge on cutting one game for TV, I suppose we can start with the byes in Week 5. But Week 3 is still ridiculous.

The following picks are for entertainment purposes only and should not be used as the basis for any actual cash wagers.

Last week: 9-7
Season to date: 18-14
Best bets: 1-1
Eliminator: 2-0

Bears (-3) over Vikings
Minnesota is the luckiest 2-0 team in the NFL right now, thanks to an overtime win over a horrid Redskins squad and an ill-advised desperation trick play by the Panthers, who were ahead when they decided to try to reenact the Music City Miracle. Chicago, on the other hand, is the real deal. TIE

Bengals (+1.5) over Steelers
I know that on Monday night, Ben Roeslithberger was two weeks removed from an emergency appendectomy and was playing with a fever, but I just can't pick a team that threw an 0-fer up on the scoreboard three days ago. WIN

Bills (-5.5) over Jets
The second-best team in the AFC East is the Bills -- not the Dolphins, and not the Jets. The only reason the Jets came close last week is because the Pats forgot how to tackle. Somehow, I don't think this unheralded Bills defense will make the same mistake. LOSS

Panthers (-3) over Bucs
Last week, the Panthers learned that trick plays are great ways to win games when you're trying to come from behind and great ways to blow games when you're already ahead. Last week, the Bucs learned that Chris Simms probably has no business playing in the NFL. LOSS

Packers (+7) over Lions
Let's get this straight: For the Lions to tie the spread this week (not even cover), they must equal their season-high scoring mark while shutting out the Packers. For a team that cares more about striking a pose than a score, it's quite the tall order. WIN

Redskins (-4) over Texans
So I should have learned my lesson about picking the Skins by now. But they're playing the Kansas City Royals of the NFL. Here's hoping that Clinton Portis manages to promote the team from horrible to merely mediocre. WIN

Jaguars (+7) over Colts
This year's Jags remind me of the 2003 Patriots -- they may not look pretty, but they manage to do whatever is necessary to win that particular game, be it hanging in until the other team starts making mistakes or letting their fate rest in the hands of their kicking game. I'm not saying they'll beat the Colts but they'll keep it close. TIE

Titans (+11) over Dolphins
Now that Tennessee has rid itself of that cancer of a highly-competent backup QB, they should roll, correct? Well, against a Miami team that, last week, gave up five sacks in the first 15 plays, had a punt blocked, and couldn't put any points on the board for the game's first 58 minutes, they should at least be competitive. WIN

Ravens (-6.5) over Browns
Regardless of whether Romeo Crennel listens to self-proclaimed third-down-savior Kellen Winslow's demands, I expect the Old Browns to roll. LOSS

Cardinals (-4.5) over Rams
In the Who Cares Game of Week 3 (notice how the Cardinals seem to be disproprtionately involved in such games), I'll go with the team that at least appears capable of breaking a game wide open on a good day. LOSS

Eagles (-6) over 49ers
He throws for 233 years and 1 TD, and all of a sudden we're supposed to believe Alex Smith is the second coming of Steve Young? Sorry, not buying it. WIN

Seahawks (-3.5) over Giants
Last week's Giants comeback disgusted me, because it gave the national media an excuse to salivate over yet another Manning brother. An impressive comeback or two does not a Hall of Famer make. Just ask Drew Bledsoe. For Seattle, Deion Brach might be the kick in the pants their offense needs. WIN

Broncos (+7) over Patriots
Denver is a full-TD underdog because their offense hasn't shown much this year, but keep in mind that they have yet to concede a single touchdown. Regardless of how either team is doing that particular season, the Broncos always seem to give the Pats serious problems. WIN

Falcons (-3.5) over Saints
As thrilling as it will be to have the NFL back in the Big Easy, Michael Vick still has five more weeks until his regularly-scheduled season ending injury, and I fully expect him to run roughshod over the Saints and anyone else until that happens. LOSS

BEST BET: Ravens (-6.5) over Browns LOSS
ELIMINATOR: Philadelphia Eagles WIN

Abuse Of Constitutional Power Day

This past Sunday was Constitution Day. Now, up until two years ago, nobody knew that such a holiday existed. Fortunately for us, megalomaniacal senator Robert Byrd inserted a rider in a budget act declaring that since the Constitution is the number-one most important issue for students of all grades and programs to learn about, and that it is of further paramount importance to study it on the anniversary of the day it was signed, it is acceptable to breach the autonomy usually granted to states and local schools districts to set their own curricula and create a dangerous precedent by requiring that all institutions receiving federal funding, be they grade schools, medical schools, or vocational schools that advertise on daytime TV and have no pretense of a liberal arts program whatsoever, present educational programming pertaining to the Constitution on Constitution Day, under threat of forfeiture of governmental financial support.

So, to celebrate this momentous occasion, I hereby invoke my First Amendment rights to criticize Byrd's bill as an example of misguided egotistical stupidity. Hello Carrot, meet Mr. Stick.

Bite Me Elmo

This morning, Fisher Price unveiled its brand-new top secret project: a souped-up 10-year anniversary version of Tickle Me Elmo they are calling T.M.X. Elmo. The X, of course, stands for extreme. I saw a clip of this toy on the internet today and it seems pretty cool -- when you tickle the doll, it starts giggling and flapping its arm. Then, it falls down and eventually doubles over in laughter onto its back, kicking its legs, rolling around and continuing to pound its arms against the ground.

What isn't cool is the price and the marketing scheme. T.M.X. Elmo costs $39.99 and requires six AA batteries, which are included. It's a lot for a toy that does one trick and gets really annoying and really old quite quickly. Fisher Price has also been trying to generate buzz by deliberately withholding pictures of its product from the public until today. In stores, the doll is packaged in such a way that you can't even see it without purchasing it and opening the box at home. Fisher Price is obviously trying to recreate the frenzy of the original Tickle Me Elmo, during which fistfights broke out as aggressive parents competed to snatch the (deliberately?) undersupplied dolls off store shelves or out of other parents' hands.

Perhaps I'm being way too naive, but it bothers me that a children's toy is being used as the basis for such a shameless cash grab and marketing ploy. I would hope that companies engaged in the business of entertaining children would be more genuinely concerned with their stated mission rather than the underlying bottom line. Then again, is it really the kids who are being marketed to? Or is it the aggressive parents who want to be the first ones on the block to get (what they've been told is) this incredible new toy for the children, just so they can prove to themselves and their neighbors what wonderful parents they are.

Top Five Crackpot Dictators

Since the Cold War ended and the Soviets ceased to be scary, America has been left without a superpower archrival. We've just had to make do with a bunch of small-time crazy guys.

1. Kim Jong Il, North Korea
Why do you need to worry about your people starving when you can develop nuclear weapons and then conduct tests of long-range missiles that are supposed to reach the United States but fail seconds after lift-off? No wonder why Kim is "so ronery."

2. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Iran
If you're the dictator of a medium-sized nation, don't you think you could afford a shave and a new set of clothes? Evidently, looking good is not so important when you're denying the Holocaust, calling for the destruction of Israel, and constructing a nuclear program in blatent defiance of the international community.

3. Moammar Khaddafi, Libya
Good old Moammar has appeared to have toned down his act since the state-sponsored terrorism days of the 1980's. But every dictator has his eccentric vice, and for Moammar, it's his all-female Amazonian Guard personal security force.

4. Fidel Castro, Cuba
The ailing Castro evidently didn't get the memo that the Cold War is over. For forty-plus years, he has vehemently fought to further the cause of La Revolucion, so economic sanctions by America be damned, why stop now?

5. Hugo Chavez, Venezuela
Chavez is Castro's friend and brother in socialism. Some of his major policy initiatives have included adding an eighth star to the national flag, changing the national coat of arms so that the horse faces to the left, and amending the country's name to the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela. Bolivarian, for those of you who don't know, is code for Communist. When Chavez reaches the 12-year term limit in office, he intends to put forth a referendum asking the Venezuelan people whether they want him to be able to run again. I'm sure nobody will feel threatened to vote yes.

Don't Cry For Me, Buenos Aires

A friend e-mailed me the other day and asked me to send him some travel tips about Buenos Aires, which I visited in 2002. In the interest of public service, rather than limiting the tips to his eyes only, I post them here so that the entire world can partake of my advice.

Things To See
Buenos Aires is one of those cities where the attraction lies less in a laundry list of sights and more so in just walking around and getting a feel for the city. Major sights include the Casa Rosada (Pink House, Argentina's answer to the White House), the cemetery in La Reloleta (above-ground necropolis in which Eva Peron is interred), the Teatro Colon opera house, and the neighborhoods of San Telmo (home of tango dancing) and La Boca (colorful working-class area). The city's main boulevard is Avenida 9 de Julio, with 14 lanes of traffic, neon billboards, and an obelisk that has become the city's icon. There's a floating casino in Puerto Madero where I won A$100. Many of the government buildings have distinctive architecture. BA also has art and history museums as well as a zoo. Above all, though, I emphasize the charm you will discover just walking around and seeing what you encounter.

Things To Eat
Steak, more steak, and some Argentine red wine (Malbec is the native wine while there are also some amazing Cabarnet Sauvignon to be had). The first Spanish settlers imported cattle to the country, and when they abandoned their settlements they left the cows behind to roam free. When the colonists returned, they discovered that the livestock had evolved into a breed of super-cattle, which makes for the most amazing beef anywhere in the world. Get a real steak rather than the "parrillada," which is a plate of assorted organ meats. Oddly enough, Argentina also consumes the most ice cream per capita of any country. It's pretty good stuff.

Things To Buy
With an exchange rate of roughly A$3.20=US$1, you can find some amazing bargains in BA. I recommend leather products (belts, wallets, jackets) and designer merchandise. Check out the pedestrian malls along Calle Florida and Calle Lavalle for the best stores. There are also street markets that take place occasionally. I recommend the market in La Recoleta.

Things To Watch
The quintessential Argentine nightlife experience is a tango show. Visit the San Telmo neighborhood for tango clubs. Sometimes, the dancers (invariably gorgeous) will grab spectators out of the audience to join them on the dance floor. Also, Argentina's two most reknowned soccer clubs (Boca Juniors and River Plate) play in BA, along with other, smaller clubs. BA has a decent opera and theatre scene as well.

Excursions
I highly recommend catching the Buquebus ferry from Puerto Madero to Colonia del Sacramento, in Uruguay. In addition to tallying another country in your passport, Colonia is worth seeing as a preserved historical settlement and a quiet escape from the hustle and bustle of BA. It's a 45-minute ride on the high-speed hydrofoil and about 2:45 on the standard ferry.

Playing The Spread, Week 2

I'd like to ask for a mulligan on my prediction that the Dallas Cowboys will win Super Bowl XLI. You see, I was all caught up in the coaching genius of Bill Parcells and the fact that Terrell Owens has finally found his big mouth (not to mention ego) a place where it can thrive, so I completely forgot the obvious fact that Drew Bledsoe is the quarterback. Had it not been for fondly-remembered back-to-back come-from-behind wins with the Patriots in 1998 (as well as the fact that Peyton Manning took up three spots on his own), Bledsoe would have found himself on my list of Top Five Least Clutch NFL Quarterbacks.

Allow us to dissect last Sunday's game: First with the Cowboys down 17-10 and driving for the touchdown that would tie the game, Bledsoe throws an interception at the Cowboys' 40-yard line that enables the Jaguars to take possession and drive five plays for a TD that put them up by 14. Then after pulling back within seven at 24-17 and holding the Jags to a three-and-out after a failed onside kick, Bledsoe takes the ball at his own 20-yard-line and on the very first play throws an interception. But hold on, because the replay booth challenges the play, and after further review, the pass is ruled incomplete. So Bledsoe has new life, which he promptly squanders in classic Bledsoe fashion by taking a sack and throwing yet another interception (this one counts) -- his third of the game.

Consider further that Dallas has been forced to use a backup kicker, who doinked a 36-yarder off the right goalpost, while high-priced disgruntled Canadian idiot kicker Mike Vanderjagt is sideline with what I believe is a dubious injury and you have a recipe for disaster.

Now if the students of the oft-mistaken instant history school of analysis had their way, we'd be predicting a Chargers-Bears or Ravens-Bears Super Bowl. But let's not be hasty -- the season has just started and much football remains to be played.

As always, the following picks are for entertainment purposes only and should not be used as the basis for any actual cash wagers. Do as I say, not as I do.

Last week: 9-7
Best bets: 0-1
Eliminator: 1-0

Patriots (-6) over Jets
While there has been a proliferation of Bill Belichick disciples among the NFL's head coaching ranks lately -- Nick Saban, Romeo Crennel, and now Eric Mangini -- I do not fear a matchup of Belichick and his former proteges. Why? Since Belichick taught them everything they know, Belichick can read exactly what's going on in their heads. WIN

Ravens (-12) over Raiders
New season, same dysfunction over in Al Davis Land. This time, inactive wide receiver was caught pumping his fist and laughing in the stands while his quarterback got sacked. His excuse? He wasn't watching the game. Gee, that sure inspires confidence in the team. WIN

Saints (-2) over Packers
Week one of the Aaron Rodgers era in Green Bay needs to start now. It's not that Brett Favre can't hack it as well as Rodgers, it's just that they might as well scrap the season and call it a rebuilding year right now. They'll end up going 3-13 anyway. WIN

Colts (-13.5) over Texans
I hope the folks in Houston are reeeeal glad they passed over Reggie Bush in favor of Mario Williams for the number-one pick in the draft. WIN

Bills (+7) over Dolphins
I was actually quite impressed with the Bills' defense on Sunday. Their fourth-and-one play calling? Not so much. Besides, Daunte Culpepper seems to have real trouble figuring out which color jersey to throw to. WIN

Panthers (-1.5) over Vikings
Steve Smith is listed as questionable, and while I doubt he will ultimately play, I don't think he's the make-or-break factor for Carolina. Something just tells me they'll bounce back fine from last week's demoralizing loss. LOSS

Bucs (+5.5) over Falcons
Jon Gruden won't let his team play like crap two weeks in a row. Chris Simms' status is questionable because it's unclear whether he'll make the game on time since he's supposed to have his first communion on Sunday morning. LOSS

Eagles (-3) over Giants
I wanted to work this in somehow, so here goes: The Giants won Super Bowl XXV. Whitney Houston sang one of the most stirring renditions of the national anthem in recent history at Super Bowl XXV. Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown are the most telegenic and heartwarming couple on television this side of Ward and June Cleaver. But, after fourteen years of loving, happy, respect-filled marriage, the couple have decided to separate. Click here to find out how Whitney broke the news to Bobby. LOSS

Bears (-8.5) over Lions
The spread scares me a bit but I'm pulling for those folks in Chicago who want another weekend of free furniture. WIN

Browns (+10) over Bengals
Cinci on the giving end of a double-digit spread? Welcome to the NFL in 2006. I just don't think Crennel and Company will let this divisional game get out of hand. LOSS

Rams (-3) over 49ers
The spread in this game is a Jeff Wilkins field goal and after kicking six of them last weekend, I see no reason why he should stop now. LOSS

Seahawks (-7) over Cardinals
Great win last Sunday, Arizona. Now comes the first of the fourteen games that don't involve San Francisco. Good luck! WIN

Broncos (-10.5) over Chiefs
Trent Green is down and out for several weeks so the Chiefs now lie in the hands of Damon Huard. Yes, he is still playing in this league. LOSS

Chargers (-10.5) over Titans
This game is the fifth this weekend with a double-digit spread, which always scares me. But if the Chargers can lay a bagel job on Oakland without a passing game, imagine what they can do with all cylinders running. WIN

Redskins (+6) over Cowboys
Despite their miscues last week and the calls to let Tony Romo start the game, Dallas is still favored by six this weekend over a miserable Redskins team. Sounds like a perfect recipe for Bledsoe to screw up another game. LOSS

Jaguars (+1.5) over Steelers
The Jags showed great resilience in knocking off the Cowboys last week (or at least holding the Cowboys at bay until they self-destructed). While Pittsburgh has shown it can bring its "A" game regardless of whether Ben Roethlisberger is playing, I give the home-field edge to the Jags in what should be a thriller. WIN

BEST BET: Saints (-2) over Packers WIN
ELIMINATOR: Chicago Bears WIN

Top Five It's A Magical World Posts

In celebration of my 100th post, please enjoy a short retrospective of where we've been so far.

1. My Passport (Friday, May 19)
Was I vain enough to catalog every stamp in my passport and post it on the internet, thinking people would actually want to read it? Evidently so. Actually, it makes a lot of sense that I give such reverence to my passport seeing as how it is both the means and record of my top passion -- international travel. It is arguably my most prized possession and I wanted to show it off to the world.

2. Why I'm Not Doing Law Review (Friday, May 19)
This post represented my first opportunity to take It's A Magical World and use it to vent. It's one thing to take the blog and use it to express my burning opinions on immigration policy and Venice's subway system. But I had struggled deeply with the decision whether to participate in the Harvard Law Review competition and once I had made up my mind, I needed some way to rationalize it. Formulating my feelings into words and posting them for the world to see forced me to make sure my reasoning was sound. Once my thoughts were sent hurtling off into cyberspace there was no turning back. And you know what? It made me feel a lot better about my choice. I have not regretted it for a minute ever since.

3. Burn Baby Burn (Wednesday, July 5)
Of all my political opinion posts, this one was my favorite. Rather boldly, I vehemently slam what has become a cause celebre for the conservative interests with whom I tend to ally myself. It was admittedly a controversial post, considering it does not only tolerate flag burning but arguably condones it, but I believe it gave me the opportunity to display my political independence and my unwillingness to toe the party line by slinging barbs at both sides of the aisle.

4. Top Five Most Difficult Types of Reality Show Challenges (Sunday, July 23)
I watch a lot of reality television. Did you know that? Well, if you didn't know that before reading this post, you surely do now. I am such a student of the genre that I can identify patterns among challenges and point out examples from all sorts of different shows. Is it something to be proud of? Or have I wasted countless hours of my life?

5. Top Five Least Clutch Quarterbacks (Saturday, August 5)
Knowing that a blog is a public document sitting in cyberspace which anybody with a computer can read, I have a long-standing policy that I will refuse to write anything critical or disrespectful about anyone else. Fortunately, however, this policy does not apply to celebrities or athletes or politicians or anyone else who has willingly subjected themselves to public scrutiny. In such cases, I declare myself free to snark away. While Paris Hilton, Tom Cruise, Mel Gibson, and anyone associated with American Idol have found themselves on the receiving end of my barbs, I reserved the sharpest ones for Peyton Manning. Not only did I disgrace Manning by naming him the least clutch quarterback of the last decade and including him in the company of Ryan Leaf and Rob Johnson, I also had to add insult to injury and make him number four and five on my list as well.

Honorable Mention: Top Five It's A Magical World Posts (Wednesday, September 13)
What could be more self-indulgent than including on my list of my top five blog posts the post where I list my top five blog posts? Is your head spinning yet?

Enjoy the next hundred!

Happy 100th Post!

"This above all, to thine own self be true." - Polonius, William Shakespeare, Hamlet

"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." - Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

Today we celebrate a milestone in the history of It's A Magical World. It has been a dream of mine for quite some time to have a forum where I can expound upon any random subject I feel like discussing. Thanks to some inspiration from a friend with a blog of her own, my dream became reality on May 18th with the posting of a certain Calvin & Hobbes comic. One hundred posts later, here we are.

The wonderful thing for me about It's A Magical World is that it's entirely my own creation. I have no rules to follow, no space limitations to fulfill, no theme to reflect on a daily basis. It's true that most of my postings concern either sports, travel, television, or politics, but such subject matter merely reflects my interests. And if I want to mix things up and do something different, like hijacking the blog for a week and a half to turn it into an online vacation journal, that's my prerogative. It's all about me, me, and me.

On this momentous occasion, I want to thank all of my faithful readers. This blog would be pointless if nobody were around to read it. While I've said that my effort would be worthwhile if only a single person were checking it out, I do feel that the more who click on by, the merrier. And even more power to those of you who take the time to leave comments. I know many of you from outside of cyberspace and I'd be lying if I said that I didn't write some days with certain devotees in mind. But I'm also aware that others of you come to It's A Magical World from far-flung corners of the country and the world and do not know me beyond my internet persona. I encourage you to drop me a line and let me know you're out there so that I can better get to understand my readers. It's been great having all of you along for the first hundred posts and I hope you stick around with me for the next hundred.

Tune in again tomorrow for a bit of a retrospective, which, I assure you, will take my usual self-indulgence to a whole new level.

Sweet Dreams? Not So Much.

Another entry in the annoying commerical department is the ad for the the sleep aid Rosterem, where a man comes downstairs into his kitchen to see Abraham Lincoln and a groundhog sitting at the table. "Who are you guys?" he asks. "We're your dreams," they say. Really? Those are your dreams? I don't know about anyone else, but when I'm in bed at night, I don't tend to dream about holidays in February. Instead, I dream about traveling to exotic places or screwing up exams or going out with the gorgeous chick in my law school class who is pleasant enough and willing to talk to me but with whom I have absolutely no chance. (That's right, you know who you are!) The whole ad makes little sense and is actually quite creepy.

And another thing: When the commercial reads the perfunctory laundry list of side effects, the first they mention is drowsiness. Um, that's no side effect -- that's why I'm taking the pill. It's like saying that a possible side effect of Viagra is that it will give you an erection.

Top Five Swimming Experiences

While we're on the topic of unnecessary bodily exposure, here are my top five most unique swimming experiences.

1. Vesturbæjarlaug Public Pool, Reykjavik, Iceland (November 2002)
Despite its chilly, sub-arctic climate, Iceland has a proliferation of outdoor swimming pools. Geothermal heating allows these pools to operate year-round. When I visited during the month of November, the walk between the changing room and the pool in 38º weather wearing only a swimsuit was an adventure. However, the hot water left me with the most incredible adrenaline rush when I departed back into the frigid late autumn morning.

2. Onsen, Kyoto, Japan (March 2006)
Okay, so this technically wasn't a swimming experience, seeing as how the water only comes up to your chest while sitting down. However, the incredibly hot water and humid air inside the bathing area just zaps away any tension you might have at the end of a day. It literally takes complete concentration to remain conscious while sitting in the bath. I was able to handle it for about fifteen minutes, at which time I returned to my hotel room completely relaxed and so ready to head to sleep.

3. Dead Sea, Ein Bokek, Israel (January 2001)
When you step into the Dead Sea, you expect to feel water, but instead, you feel a viscous, almost gelatinous goo. As you are surely aware, the Dead Sea is nearly saturated with minerals, making it much more salty than the ocean. It is virtually impossible to submerge your head underwater and it takes incredible effort to even swim on your stomach, since natural buoyancy flips you onto your back. When you leave the water, make sure you take a nice long shower, since you feel disgusting if the water evaporates, leaving the salt on your body. The theraputic effects are world-reknowned, however.

4. Marble Quarry, Dorset, Vermont (July 1997)
Here in Massachusetts, we declare abandoned rock quarries safety hazards and proceed to drain them. In Vermont, where people are just a wee bit less neurotic, they turn quarries into public swimming holes. In addition to an opportunity to frolic with the locals, the Dorset Marble Quarry is the only place where I've ever jumped into water from thirty feet up. As long as you're not stupid about it, it's safe.

5. Ipanema Beach, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil (March 2002) and Copacabana Beach, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil (August 2005)
Yeah, it was a beach, and I've gone swimming in the ocean many times before. But Copacabana and Ipanema are two of the most well-known beaches in the world. It's quite the experience, thanks to absolutely gorgeous scenery, be it natural or human. The vendors incessantly plying sunscreen (which you should use liberally) or cashews or soft drinks or shrimp on a stick can get annoying. The undertow and longshore current can be very strong. But beautiful women in tiny two-piece swimsuits (and, perhaps even more impressively, unattractive women in tiny two-piece swimsuits, blissfully devoid of any self-consciousness) cover the beach, and beyond the row of attractive beach-lining hotels, towering hills rise almost straight out of the ocean..

Cover That Sh-- Up!

The Hemenway Gym at Harvard Law, where I work out regularly, is a newly-remodeled state-of-the-art facility. One of my favorite features is the self-contained shower stalls. Each of the half-dozen individual showers comes with a private changing area, shielded from the rest of the gym by a frosted glass door. Such a set-up allows patrons to step out of the shower, dry themselves off, and put on some clothes without exposing themselves to anyone else in the locker room.

So why do so many men in that locker room insist on walking around with absolutely nothing left to the imagination? We're not talking about dropping the towel and quickly shimmying into a pair of boxer shorts. We're talking about dropping the towel and being in absolutely no hurry whatsoever to cover back up, opting instead to first dig clothes out of the locker or dry every square inch of skin or (the absolute worst) strike up a conversation. Little in this world is more awkward than a naked man trying to talk to you. You thought the urinal conversation was bad? Try full frontal locker room small talk.

Look, I understand that exposure may be necessary in certain locker room conditions that don't offer such luxuries as privacy screens. I respect that necessity, though I humbly request that you keep the duration of your exposure to a minimum. But the communal shower went out of vogue twenty years ago. If there's a reasonable way to avoid being naked in public, you shouldn't be naked in public. Period.

Top Five Pieces of Advice For New Law Students

As I returned to Harvard Law this week, I realized that a whole new crop of 1L's had taken my place as the people walking around campus with a petrified look of fear on their faces. Now that I feel like I own the place, I thought I'd offer some advice to the rookies. My advice is tailored toward HLS but it applies to students in any law school. It concerns the initial adjustment process; we'll talk more about exams later.

1. Keep Things In Perspective
A common fear 1L's have is foundering badly when called upon in class, thus making a fool of yourself in front of your classmates and the professor. Well guess what? It happens to everyone. Half the class is probably goofing of instead of paying attention to you and the other half as well as the professor will completely forget about anything specific that happened during lecture by the end of the day. If you think about you turn to speak in terms of just one of the incredibly many little pieces that make up a semester, it's not a big deal in the scheme of things. Similarly, the syllabi and textbooks may seem huge and overwhelming at first glance, but break them down into the day-by-day assignments and they are much more manageable.

2. Get To Know What Your Professors Want
One of my first semester professors took cases as the gospel truth of law. Another professor analyzed cases heavily to determine the underlying rationale and to justify why a given holding should ever be applied in the future. A third professor relied upon cases only as historical background and various examples of application, caring much more on the doctrinal and statutory rules themselves. The moral is that the sooner you can figure out what the professor is looking for, the sooner you can tailor your preparation toward that goal and work more efficiently.

3. Plan Your Time Well
Contrary to what you might think, there is plenty of time for non-law school activities. In addition to being on top of and on time with my assignments virtually without fail, I managed to edit for a student journal, serve on the executive committee for the lecture board, serve as a section representative for the HLS social organization, attend various speaking engagements and career workshops, play intramural sports, work out regularly, watch a steady diet of football and reality television, officiate soccer games off-campus, go out with friends, and even date. The key is to manage your time. I highly recommend using Outlook or a similar calendar program which enables you to see how much time you have and how you dole it out.

4. Your Classmates Are Your Friends, Not Your Competition
It might be more the case at HLS than elsewhere, but your survival is largely predicated on how well you use your classmates for support. Whether you form formal study groups or just talk with friends now and then about specific issues that arise or just bitch about professors, your classmates are a wonderful resource. There is no class rank here and there are plenty of jobs to go around, so nobody ever needs to achieve something at another student's expense. Since you'll be spending much of your time with these people anyway, you might as well be friends with them.

5. Don't Blow Off Legal Research And Writing
The temptation certainly exists, since the class is graded pass/fail and it's only for two credits and the instructors might seem less legitimate than tenured professors and the assignments and fact patterns tend to be rather inane. But honing your skills now will make legal research a breeze once you reach the real world.

Many have survived and even thrived where you now stand. Good luck!

Playing The Spread, Week 1

Welcome to another fabulous NFL season. If it's the NFL, you know it's going to be good.

And if you're a Patriots fan, you know that the likes of Bill Belichick and Scott Pioli are going to make good personnel decisions. That is why I trust in them to appropriately handle the Deion Branch holdout in the best manner for the team.

However, I support Branch and his agent in their attempt to get his grievance heard not by one of the regular arbitrators that works with the NFL and the NFLPA but by the NFL's special master. See, the special master is a gentleman by the name of Stephen Burbank, who just happened to be my professor for Civil Procedure here at Harvard Law School last fall. As Burbank himself would gladly tell you, he's the right man for the job. After all, his law review articles have been utilized by Justice Scalia in official Supreme Court opinions, though they might not have been cited properly, and he got the highest grade in the class on his Secured Transactions exam while a law student, despite the fact that he only filled up one side of a bluebook page and thought he had failed. With a man like Burbank on the case, I can rest easier at night knowing that adjudication of NFL labor disputes are in the right hands.

In this space, I'll be making weekly NFL predictions against the MGM/Mirage point spread at the time of writing. I will pick one game each week as my "Best Bet," which means I am most confident about my selection for that game. A new feature this year is the "Eliminator," in which I will pick one team each week to win straight up, with the catch being that I can pick each team no more than once during the season. Keep in mind that these picks are for recreational purposes only and should not be the basis of any actual cash wagers.

Dolphins (E) over Steelers
Pittsburgh may be kicking off the season tonight by raising the Super Bowl banner, but keep in mind that they were a #6 seed last year and their quarterback is out after an emergency appendectomy. Miami should be a much-improved squad this year. LOSS

Patriots (-9) over Bills
Buffalo put their franchise in the hands of Rob Johnson, then Drew Bledsoe, and now J.P. Losman. I'm not exactly quaking in my boots. Even without Deion Branch, New England's starting offense is potent. LOSS

Broncos (-3.5) over Rams
With Mike Martz gone, St. Louis' game planning might now have a modicum of intelligence. LOSS

Jets (+3) over Titans
Like the rest of his team, Eric Mangini needs another two or three years before he's ready for prime time. I doubt Chad Pennington will ever be fully healthy. WIN

Ravens (+3) over Bucs
Chris Sims looks like a 12-year-old and Steve McNair walks like he's sixty. I'll take experience over youth for this game. WIN

Bengals (+2.5) over Chiefs
They may be the Bungles no more, but if Cinci's players keep having run-ins with the law at their current rate, they might not even be able to field a full roster by the end of the year. WIN

Seahawks (-6) over Lions
And speaking of legal trouble, Detroit's defensive line coach was arrested twice in the past two weeks, once for driving naked. I thought it was only the rookie players who were hazed, not the rookie coaches. LOSS

Panthers (-5) over Falcons
As a Playing the Spread bonus, I will make the official prediction that oft-injured Michael Vick, the most overrated quarterback this side of Rob Johnson, will play no more than nine weeks this season. Get well acquainted with Matt Schaub, Falcons fans. LOSS

Eagles (-4.5) over Texans
The wonderful thing about NFL parity is that three of the last four new expansion teams reached the playoffs within four years of team inception. The Texans evidently didn't get that memo. WIN

Saints (+3) over Browns
As much as I want to see former Patriots defensive coordinator Romeo Crennel turn the Browns' franchise around, I can't see it happening with Charlie Frye under center. Or Ken Dorsey coming off the bench to replace him by Week 6. WIN

Cowboys (+2.5) over Jaguars
I would love nothing more than to see Bill Parcells win one more Super Bowl. I would hate little more than to see Terrell Owens win one Super Bowl and to hear him yapping about it incessantly. LOSS

Bears (-3.5) over Packers
With an unimpressive supporting cast, Brett Favre may regret his incredibly drawn-out decision to come back to Green Bay for one more season. It will be a long one. WIN

Cardinals (-7.5) over 49ers
They had to play this game in Mexico City last year to get anybody to pay attention. The only thing worth watching this game for is a chance to see Arizona's state-of-the-art new stadium. LOSS (By a friggin' half-point)

Colts (-3.5) over Giants
Can't both Manning brothers lose?! Get ready for the droolfest by the national media. Sunday's game is Step One for the Colts en route to their annual 13-3 record and early exit from the playoffs. WIN

Vikings (+4.5) over Redskins
The "experts" seem to like the Redskins this year, but, while I know it was the preseason, I watched them get pasted 41-0 by the Pats three weeks ago. Very little looked good about that team. WIN

Chargers (-3) over Raiders
Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. Al Davis, having chewed up and spit out (or just plain scared away) every other coach in the league, had to go back to the well and hire Art Shell for a second tour of duty. He may be a glutton for punishment or he may just be desperate for work. WIN

BEST BET: Seahawks (-6) over Lions LOSS
ELIMINATOR: Arizona Cardinals WIN

Are You Ready For Some Football?

(and now back to our regularly scheduled programming....)

It's that time of the year when all the so-called experts issue their predictions as to the upcoming NFL season. So I figured, why should the likes Peter King and Dr. Z (the Sports Illustrated writer, not the annoying bald-headed Chrysler spokesperson with the German accent) have all the fun? Here are my predictions, in print, subject to the ridicule of the masses, though I intend to be proven correct on most of them. Also, I intend to ressurect, at least in limited form, my old prognostication column from college. Keep an eye out Thursdays during the NFL season for Playing the Spread, starting tomorrow.

American Football Conference
East: New England Patriots
North: Pittsburgh Steelers
South: Indianapolis Colts
West: Denver Broncos
Wild Cards: Miami Dolphins, San Diego Chargers

Wild Card Playoffs:
Dolphins defeat Steelers, Patriots defeat Chargers

Divisional Playoffs:
Colts defeat Dolphins, Broncos defeat Patriots

Conference Championship:
Broncos defeat Colts (another Peyton Manning choke, helped by an Adam Vinatieri shank in the closing seconds -- you heard it here first)

National Football Conference
East: Dallas Cowboys
North: Chicago Bears (by default)
South: Carolina Panthers
West: Seattle Seahawks
Wild Cards: New York Giants, New Orleans Saints

Wild Card Playoffs:
Seahawks defeat Saints, Giants defeat Bears

Divisional Playoffs:
Panthers defeat Giants, Cowboys defeat Seahawks

Conference Championship:
Cowboys defeat Panthers

Super Bowl XLI
Cowboys defeat Broncos (as much as I hate to see TO win a Super Bowl, it would be a wonderful way for the Big Tuna to end his career, this time for good)