Playing the Spread, Week 3

Year after year, I ask the same question of the NFL: Why do teams need a bye in Week 3? I understand the NFL's logic in making sure that all teams take their bye before the last month of the season, since a week off to recover during a playoff run would be a huge competitive advantage. But why do we have to start handing out the byes in the third week of the season? Who besides Terrell Owens and perhaps the Oakland Raiders really needs a break now? And furthermore, the teams with a Week 3 bye will have to play for fourteen straight weeks. Is that really fair either?

My modest proposal is as follows: Start handing out the byes in Week 6 and conclude by Week 12. That way, everyone plays the first five weeks and everybody plays the last five weeks. Nobody has to play more than 11 straight games without a week off. The only potential complication is that the NFL will have to bite the bullet and have six teams idle during two of those weekends, instead of the traditional four. It will mean one less game for TV. (Ah, there lies the rationale.) If the NFL absolutely refuses to budge on cutting one game for TV, I suppose we can start with the byes in Week 5. But Week 3 is still ridiculous.

The following picks are for entertainment purposes only and should not be used as the basis for any actual cash wagers.

Last week: 9-7
Season to date: 18-14
Best bets: 1-1
Eliminator: 2-0

Bears (-3) over Vikings
Minnesota is the luckiest 2-0 team in the NFL right now, thanks to an overtime win over a horrid Redskins squad and an ill-advised desperation trick play by the Panthers, who were ahead when they decided to try to reenact the Music City Miracle. Chicago, on the other hand, is the real deal. TIE

Bengals (+1.5) over Steelers
I know that on Monday night, Ben Roeslithberger was two weeks removed from an emergency appendectomy and was playing with a fever, but I just can't pick a team that threw an 0-fer up on the scoreboard three days ago. WIN

Bills (-5.5) over Jets
The second-best team in the AFC East is the Bills -- not the Dolphins, and not the Jets. The only reason the Jets came close last week is because the Pats forgot how to tackle. Somehow, I don't think this unheralded Bills defense will make the same mistake. LOSS

Panthers (-3) over Bucs
Last week, the Panthers learned that trick plays are great ways to win games when you're trying to come from behind and great ways to blow games when you're already ahead. Last week, the Bucs learned that Chris Simms probably has no business playing in the NFL. LOSS

Packers (+7) over Lions
Let's get this straight: For the Lions to tie the spread this week (not even cover), they must equal their season-high scoring mark while shutting out the Packers. For a team that cares more about striking a pose than a score, it's quite the tall order. WIN

Redskins (-4) over Texans
So I should have learned my lesson about picking the Skins by now. But they're playing the Kansas City Royals of the NFL. Here's hoping that Clinton Portis manages to promote the team from horrible to merely mediocre. WIN

Jaguars (+7) over Colts
This year's Jags remind me of the 2003 Patriots -- they may not look pretty, but they manage to do whatever is necessary to win that particular game, be it hanging in until the other team starts making mistakes or letting their fate rest in the hands of their kicking game. I'm not saying they'll beat the Colts but they'll keep it close. TIE

Titans (+11) over Dolphins
Now that Tennessee has rid itself of that cancer of a highly-competent backup QB, they should roll, correct? Well, against a Miami team that, last week, gave up five sacks in the first 15 plays, had a punt blocked, and couldn't put any points on the board for the game's first 58 minutes, they should at least be competitive. WIN

Ravens (-6.5) over Browns
Regardless of whether Romeo Crennel listens to self-proclaimed third-down-savior Kellen Winslow's demands, I expect the Old Browns to roll. LOSS

Cardinals (-4.5) over Rams
In the Who Cares Game of Week 3 (notice how the Cardinals seem to be disproprtionately involved in such games), I'll go with the team that at least appears capable of breaking a game wide open on a good day. LOSS

Eagles (-6) over 49ers
He throws for 233 years and 1 TD, and all of a sudden we're supposed to believe Alex Smith is the second coming of Steve Young? Sorry, not buying it. WIN

Seahawks (-3.5) over Giants
Last week's Giants comeback disgusted me, because it gave the national media an excuse to salivate over yet another Manning brother. An impressive comeback or two does not a Hall of Famer make. Just ask Drew Bledsoe. For Seattle, Deion Brach might be the kick in the pants their offense needs. WIN

Broncos (+7) over Patriots
Denver is a full-TD underdog because their offense hasn't shown much this year, but keep in mind that they have yet to concede a single touchdown. Regardless of how either team is doing that particular season, the Broncos always seem to give the Pats serious problems. WIN

Falcons (-3.5) over Saints
As thrilling as it will be to have the NFL back in the Big Easy, Michael Vick still has five more weeks until his regularly-scheduled season ending injury, and I fully expect him to run roughshod over the Saints and anyone else until that happens. LOSS

BEST BET: Ravens (-6.5) over Browns LOSS
ELIMINATOR: Philadelphia Eagles WIN