Cover That Sh-- Up!

The Hemenway Gym at Harvard Law, where I work out regularly, is a newly-remodeled state-of-the-art facility. One of my favorite features is the self-contained shower stalls. Each of the half-dozen individual showers comes with a private changing area, shielded from the rest of the gym by a frosted glass door. Such a set-up allows patrons to step out of the shower, dry themselves off, and put on some clothes without exposing themselves to anyone else in the locker room.

So why do so many men in that locker room insist on walking around with absolutely nothing left to the imagination? We're not talking about dropping the towel and quickly shimmying into a pair of boxer shorts. We're talking about dropping the towel and being in absolutely no hurry whatsoever to cover back up, opting instead to first dig clothes out of the locker or dry every square inch of skin or (the absolute worst) strike up a conversation. Little in this world is more awkward than a naked man trying to talk to you. You thought the urinal conversation was bad? Try full frontal locker room small talk.

Look, I understand that exposure may be necessary in certain locker room conditions that don't offer such luxuries as privacy screens. I respect that necessity, though I humbly request that you keep the duration of your exposure to a minimum. But the communal shower went out of vogue twenty years ago. If there's a reasonable way to avoid being naked in public, you shouldn't be naked in public. Period.