Happy Birthday To Me!

For the first 4.57 billion years of its existence, the earth was a pretty good place -- not great, but pretty good. Then, at 3:24 p.m. on this day 26 years ago, the planet earth suddenly and irrevokably changed for the better. At that exact date and time, I was born, ushering in a new era of economic prosperity and technological achievement and a cultural Renaissance. So, in celebration of such a momentous occasion, I encourage each and every one of you to seek me out today, buy me a drink, shake my hand (or, if you're female, give me a big hug and a kiss), and thank me for having being born. I'm thrilled that my mere existence has enriched your lives so much. You're quite welcome.